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deadpool 2 english subtitle

  • 작성자

    SH*****

  • 자막 제작자

    -

  • 등록일

    2018-05-23

  • 언어

    통합

  • 다운로드 수

    1316

  • 동영상 이름

    deadpool 2 english subtitle [0 B]

  • 자막 파일

    Deadpool 2 (2018) English HDTS-Rip - 720p - x264 - MP3 - 800MB.srt [101.24 KB]

  • 내용

    1
    00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:53,195
    Fuck Wolverine.

    2
    00:01:54,008 --> 00:01:56,962
    First, he rides my coattails
    with the R-rating.

    3
    00:01:56,987 --> 00:02:01,164
    Then, the hairy motherfucker
    ups the ante by dying.

    4
    00:02:01,417 --> 00:02:03,120
    What a dick!

    5
    00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,361
    Well guess what, Wolvie?

    6
    00:02:05,683 --> 00:02:08,174
    I'm dying in this one, too.

    7
    00:02:11,394 --> 00:02:15,768
    To understand why I took a catnap
    on 1,200 gallons of high-test fuel...

    8
    00:02:15,784 --> 00:02:19,541
    I need to take you back to the
    doody slopes of six weeks ago.

    9
    00:02:19,557 --> 00:02:22,838
    I've gone international. Taking
    on mass murderers, gangsters,

    10
    00:02:22,847 --> 00:02:24,721
    unspeakable monsters.

    11
    00:02:24,729 --> 00:02:27,846
    People nobody would touch.
    Except me.

    12
    00:02:27,854 --> 00:02:30,346
    I'm gonna touch them all over.

    13
    00:02:33,343 --> 00:02:35,163
    Hey. It's Gail calling.

    14
    00:02:35,171 --> 00:02:38,960
    Love the shiny suit. Really brings out
    the sex trafficker in your eyes.

    15
    00:02:41,231 --> 00:02:44,575
    I don't speak
    Cantonese, Mister...

    16
    00:02:45,536 --> 00:02:47,684
    Well I'm not even
    gonna attempt that.

    17
    00:02:47,692 --> 00:02:50,332
    But I did take eighth
    grade Spanish, so...

    18
    00:02:50,341 --> 00:02:52,340
    Donde esta la biblioteca?

    19
    00:02:52,356 --> 00:02:54,621
    Which literally translates to...

    20
    00:02:55,529 --> 00:02:58,396
    "I don't bargain,
    pumpkin-fucker."

    21
    00:03:22,681 --> 00:03:24,837
    Uno, dos, tres, quatr...

    22
    00:03:36,902 --> 00:03:39,316
    I'll take a glitter off
    your glitter fucking vodka.

    23
    00:03:39,324 --> 00:03:41,816
    I know it's called sea breeze.
    Don't make me say it.

    24
    00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:44,050
    Hit it, Dolly.

    25
    00:04:01,083 --> 00:04:04,262
    Taking the hands off the
    guns of the criminals.

    26
    00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:14,037
    Do not go in there!

    27
    00:04:23,486 --> 00:04:26,305
    Oh, God! Oh, God! Time out!
    Time out!

    28
    00:04:26,337 --> 00:04:29,876
    Cut! Just like Cyclops,
    can't open my eyes.

    29
    00:04:33,014 --> 00:04:34,365
    Fuck!

    30
    00:04:35,530 --> 00:04:37,326
    Scoutmaster Kevin?

    31
    00:04:43,639 --> 00:04:45,224
    Too exotic?

    32
    00:04:47,733 --> 00:04:50,685
    My world tour brought
    me home to this guy.

    33
    00:04:50,709 --> 00:04:52,060
    Sergei

    34
    00:04:52,077 --> 00:04:53,811
    We'll get to him in a moment.

    35
    00:04:53,819 --> 00:04:55,404
    Because I know what
    you're thinking.

    36
    00:04:55,421 --> 00:04:57,990
    "I'm so glad I left
    the kiddos at home."

    37
    00:04:57,999 --> 00:04:59,561
    But that's where you'd be wrong.

    38
    00:04:59,577 --> 00:05:02,506
    That babysitter of yours,
    is high as fuck right now.

    39
    00:05:02,612 --> 00:05:04,080
    And believe it or not...

    40
    00:05:04,092 --> 00:05:07,138
    Deadpool 2, is a family film.

    41
    00:05:07,155 --> 00:05:08,060
    True story.

    42
    00:05:08,069 --> 00:05:11,748
    And every good family film
    starts with a vicious murder.

    43
    00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:14,787
    Bambi, The Lion King, Saw VII.

    44
    00:05:14,834 --> 00:05:18,404
    Holy shit-pickles.
    That guy's on fire!

    45
    00:05:18,429 --> 00:05:21,905
    That's not CGI, folks. He's
    actually on fire. Yeah.

    46
    00:05:22,179 --> 00:05:24,678
    You know, you need to
    take out bad guys, right?

    47
    00:05:24,703 --> 00:05:28,039
    But this guy... He was
    one of the worst of 'em.

    48
    00:05:30,782 --> 00:05:34,102
    Open up with this fucking door,
    and let's kill this motherfu...

    49
    00:05:40,450 --> 00:05:42,450
    Ugh... So gross.

    50
    00:05:42,583 --> 00:05:45,075
    A panic room? Really?

    51
    00:05:45,490 --> 00:05:47,535
    Can you come out?

    52
    00:05:47,763 --> 00:05:51,264
    I really have to go.
    It's my anniversary.

    53
    00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:59,669
    Open up what you feel inside. Just
    not having enough confidence.

    54
    00:05:59,699 --> 00:06:02,950
    Listen, confidence is not something
    you have. It's something you create.

    55
    00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:05,159
    And you can create it
    any moment in time.

    56
    00:06:05,175 --> 00:06:08,550
    A sense of confidence is nothing but
    a sense of power within yourself.

    57
    00:06:08,575 --> 00:06:11,136
    A sense of certainty that
    you can pull something off.

    58
    00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:13,536
    And you can create that feeling
    within you, in a moment.

    59
    00:06:13,561 --> 00:06:15,942
    Start the fucking car!

    60
    00:06:22,269 --> 00:06:23,965
    - Woo!
    - I shit my pants.

    61
    00:06:23,990 --> 00:06:26,503
    Actually, that may have been me.

    62
    00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:27,698
    Mission accomplished?

    63
    00:06:27,723 --> 00:06:29,706
    Well, George W-sort of way.

    64
    00:06:29,707 --> 00:06:31,904
    Fucker can't stay in a
    panic room forever.

    65
    00:06:31,929 --> 00:06:35,210
    - You are living the dreams, DP.
    - It has been quite the run, Dopinder.

    66
    00:06:35,235 --> 00:06:36,562
    And who'd have thought?

    67
    00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,063
    Now I'm talked about in the
    same sentence as Jesus.

    68
    00:06:39,088 --> 00:06:42,149
    Passion of the Christ, then, me.
    At least, domestically.

    69
    00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:45,189
    We beat them overseas, where
    there's no such thing as religion.

    70
    00:06:45,213 --> 00:06:47,658
    I do want to live the
    dreams, Poolboy.

    71
    00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:50,166
    Taxiing is not as
    sexy as it looks.

    72
    00:06:50,260 --> 00:06:53,142
    - I want to fill my...
    - Pockets? What's your poison?

    73
    00:06:53,195 --> 00:06:55,195
    Little cookie cokey?

    74
    00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:58,226
    Can't maintain an erection
    without buying shoes online?

    75
    00:06:58,265 --> 00:07:00,640
    Never experienced that last one.

    76
    00:07:00,652 --> 00:07:03,320
    - Talk to me,
    - I was going to say, soul.

    77
    00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:07,355
    I want to fill my soul. I want to belong
    to something, like you, Pool, sir.

    78
    00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:08,855
    Dopinder?

    79
    00:07:09,478 --> 00:07:11,595
    You never cease to surprise me.

    80
    00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:15,656
    The depth of your heart
    is extraordinary.

    81
    00:07:15,681 --> 00:07:19,946
    We all need a sense of belonging. We
    all need a genuine sense of home.

    82
    00:07:19,971 --> 00:07:21,860
    - a place...
    - I want to become a contract killer.

    83
    00:07:21,885 --> 00:07:23,627
    I'm sorry. What did you say?

    84
    00:07:23,635 --> 00:07:27,275
    Remember when I kidnapped
    Bandhu, and tried to end him...

    85
    00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:28,620
    You kinda killed him.

    86
    00:07:28,636 --> 00:07:31,378
    - Remember the movie Interview with the Vampire?
    - I don't want to.

    87
    00:07:31,386 --> 00:07:35,986
    When Tom Cruise fed ten-year old Kirsten
    Dunst blood for the first time.

    88
    00:07:36,011 --> 00:07:39,511
    Then she looked up at his
    smooth, handsome face,

    89
    00:07:39,519 --> 00:07:42,761
    and said, "I want some more".

    90
    00:07:42,793 --> 00:07:46,902
    Oh, Pool, picture me! A
    ten-year old Kirsten Dunst.

    91
    00:07:47,387 --> 00:07:49,863
    I'll never not picture that.

    92
    00:07:50,340 --> 00:07:53,949
    But I can't wait to never speak of this.
    As soon as possible.

    93
    00:07:54,238 --> 00:07:55,457
    We're here.

    94
    00:07:58,636 --> 00:08:01,581
    - You're my Tom Cruise.
    - And you're my Kristen Dunst!

    95
    00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,245
    Kristen? Kirsten?

    96
    00:08:08,162 --> 00:08:09,646
    Sorry I'm late.

    97
    00:08:09,748 --> 00:08:11,281
    There was a bunch of...

    98
    00:08:11,302 --> 00:08:14,903
    Handicappable children stuck in a tree.
    I had to...

    99
    00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:15,853
    You're right.

    100
    00:08:15,878 --> 00:08:17,877
    I was fighting a caped badass.

    101
    00:08:17,902 --> 00:08:21,156
    - Then I discovered his mom was named Martha, too.
    - No.

    102
    00:08:21,742 --> 00:08:22,836
    Traffic?

    103
    00:08:23,828 --> 00:08:24,828
    Hmm?

    104
    00:08:25,602 --> 00:08:28,609
    - Kiss me like you miss me, Red.
    - Well, come here.

    105
    00:08:39,983 --> 00:08:42,193
    I wanna shower and get
    out of this suit.

    106
    00:08:42,370 --> 00:08:45,659
    - Don't you want your surprise?
    - Do I look like a patient burn victim?

    107
    00:08:48,651 --> 00:08:51,588
    Happy anniversary, baby.

    108
    00:08:53,807 --> 00:08:55,299
    The ski-ball token.

    109
    00:08:55,649 --> 00:08:57,471
    - Our first date.
    - Yup.

    110
    00:08:58,666 --> 00:09:01,353
    That's genuine high-grade lead.

    111
    00:09:04,158 --> 00:09:05,970
    I'll keep it forever.

    112
    00:09:06,535 --> 00:09:08,745
    Thank you, baby.

    113
    00:09:09,660 --> 00:09:11,808
    Open yours.

    114
    00:09:13,402 --> 00:09:14,839
    Well that's...

    115
    00:09:14,965 --> 00:09:16,903
    That's just the most
    beautiful thing I ever...

    116
    00:09:16,928 --> 00:09:18,411
    I don't know what this is.

    117
    00:09:18,427 --> 00:09:19,856
    My IUD.

    118
    00:09:20,139 --> 00:09:21,207
    A bomb?

    119
    00:09:21,232 --> 00:09:24,132
    No, dick for brains. My
    birth control device.

    120
    00:09:24,443 --> 00:09:25,514
    You mean your....

    121
    00:09:25,539 --> 00:09:28,794
    - Baby factory is open for business.
    - Oh, my God!

    122
    00:09:29,498 --> 00:09:31,974
    Oh, my God! I want a boy.

    123
    00:09:32,161 --> 00:09:34,825
    Or a little girl. Just
    really one or the other.

    124
    00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:38,255
    I want our kids to
    have only one name.

    125
    00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:39,917
    Like Cher.

    126
    00:09:39,942 --> 00:09:41,075
    Or Todd.

    127
    00:09:41,904 --> 00:09:44,857
    - You gotta pump a baby in me first, cowboy.
    - Yes, I do.

    128
    00:09:44,882 --> 00:09:48,099
    - Let's watch some porn and show that bed who's boss.
    - Let's do that.

    129
    00:09:57,319 --> 00:09:59,834
    Does this song sound
    familiar to you?

    130
    00:10:01,514 --> 00:10:02,670
    May.

    131
    00:10:03,998 --> 00:10:06,255
    Connor? If it's a boy.

    132
    00:10:06,350 --> 00:10:08,623
    May if it's a girl.

    133
    00:10:10,538 --> 00:10:12,436
    So weird.

    134
    00:10:12,850 --> 00:10:15,031
    Family's a lot like
    an "F"-word to me.

    135
    00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:20,076
    Pile of shit father took
    off and bailed, and...

    136
    00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:25,209
    It's not like I have a lot of strong
    role models to draw off of for Todd.

    137
    00:10:26,515 --> 00:10:27,561
    Hey.

    138
    00:10:28,030 --> 00:10:29,287
    Look at me.

    139
    00:10:30,389 --> 00:10:32,420
    You are not your father.

    140
    00:10:34,099 --> 00:10:35,317
    Besides...

    141
    00:10:35,451 --> 00:10:37,888
    I will never, ever...

    142
    00:10:38,124 --> 00:10:40,694
    let our child be named "Todd".

    143
    00:10:41,328 --> 00:10:43,851
    But here's the thing. Isn't
    that how it always works?

    144
    00:10:44,191 --> 00:10:45,659
    Like in Star Wars...

    145
    00:10:45,707 --> 00:10:48,105
    Men are destined to
    become their father?

    146
    00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:51,596
    And then have consensual
    sex with their sister?

    147
    00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:54,455
    I think you missed big,
    big chunks of that movie.

    148
    00:10:55,033 --> 00:10:59,048
    - No, I'm pretty sure Luke nailed her.
    - Baby, that's Empire.

    149
    00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,322
    The point is, kids...

    150
    00:11:03,615 --> 00:11:06,596
    They give us a chance to
    be better than we are.

    151
    00:11:06,649 --> 00:11:08,919
    Better than we used to be.

    152
    00:11:09,860 --> 00:11:12,766
    You're a lot smarter
    than you look.

    153
    00:11:13,274 --> 00:11:15,016
    I'm gonna go make dessert.

    154
    00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:18,500
    You get the strap-on.
    Let's make a superbaby.

    155
    00:11:19,507 --> 00:11:22,327
    I'm pretty sure it doesn't
    work that way but we can try.

    156
    00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:26,351
    What about Krystal, with a K?

    157
    00:11:26,412 --> 00:11:28,139
    That's too stripper-y.

    158
    00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:30,138
    Kevin with a K?

    159
    00:11:30,163 --> 00:11:32,344
    No. Too stripper-y too.

    160
    00:11:32,738 --> 00:11:34,183
    Earl?

    161
    00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:38,809
    He's gonna go straight to
    jail if we name him Earl.

    162
    00:11:39,669 --> 00:11:41,965
    What about Bruce?

    163
    00:11:43,801 --> 00:11:46,012
    - Get down.
    - What?

    164
    00:12:14,595 --> 00:12:17,009
    Baby? Baby?

    165
    00:12:20,017 --> 00:12:21,822
    I'm okay.

    166
    00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:24,759
    Thank God, I didn't have to use
    the cream cheese spreader.

    167
    00:16:18,537 --> 00:16:21,310
    Papa, can you hear me?

    168
    00:16:22,450 --> 00:16:25,926
    Is it just me or does "Do you want
    to Build A Snowman" from Frozen

    169
    00:16:25,942 --> 00:16:29,262
    sounds suspiciously like "Papa,
    Can You Hear Me" from Yentl?

    170
    00:16:30,309 --> 00:16:32,309
    Papa, can you hear me?

    171
    00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,832
    That nobody fucking realizes it.

    172
    00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:40,000
    Go home. You've been here
    for three days, okay?

    173
    00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:43,958
    You smell like somebody shit in a civil
    war wound after it had become gangrenous

    174
    00:16:43,967 --> 00:16:47,638
    They should've just amputated it. Why
    shit in it. It doesn't make any sense.

    175
    00:16:47,663 --> 00:16:49,428
    I love Frozen.

    176
    00:16:49,515 --> 00:16:52,905
    I loved her. I loved her
    like ocean loved water.

    177
    00:16:53,037 --> 00:16:55,450
    - An ocean is water.
    - More importantly...

    178
    00:16:55,521 --> 00:16:56,982
    I liked her.

    179
    00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:59,154
    I really liked her, you know?

    180
    00:16:59,389 --> 00:17:04,404
    George Michael was right. I'm never
    gonna dance again. Fuck. He's dead too.

    181
    00:17:05,047 --> 00:17:08,211
    - At least we still have Bowie.
    - Yeah.

    182
    00:17:08,516 --> 00:17:11,531
    We still... have Bowie.

    183
    00:17:11,749 --> 00:17:13,084
    I'm sorry.

    184
    00:17:13,146 --> 00:17:16,537
    Shot after shot, it's not gonna change
    the fact that I think you're...

    185
    00:17:16,552 --> 00:17:20,630
    Are you pissing? Are you urinating right now? You're
    making the face that you make when you're urinating.

    186
    00:17:20,802 --> 00:17:22,794
    - Is he pissing?
    - I'm on it.

    187
    00:17:22,819 --> 00:17:24,308
    There you go, Dopinder.

    188
    00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:28,505
    You wanna be a contract killer, you're gonna
    handle a mop before you handle a gun.

    189
    00:17:28,521 --> 00:17:31,185
    Although I don't quite understand
    how they are all similar.

    190
    00:17:31,201 --> 00:17:33,864
    Well, they both have handles.
    Now leave me.

    191
    00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:35,929
    Go home, Wade.

    192
    00:17:36,021 --> 00:17:37,695
    I don't have a home.

    193
    00:17:39,578 --> 00:17:42,203
    Whoa. Okay, I'm fine.
    Honestly, I'm fine.

    194
    00:17:42,281 --> 00:17:44,445
    You know what fine
    stands for, Wade?

    195
    00:17:44,453 --> 00:17:47,843
    Fucked up, insecure,
    neurotic and emotional.

    196
    00:17:48,047 --> 00:17:50,523
    According to the...

    197
    00:17:50,890 --> 00:17:52,304
    Kubler-Ross.

    198
    00:17:52,334 --> 00:17:57,186
    According to the Kubler-Ross model, denial
    is just one of the five stages of grief.

    199
    00:17:57,211 --> 00:17:59,443
    Jesus Christ, Buck.

    200
    00:17:59,490 --> 00:18:01,982
    No more speaking lines for you.

    201
    00:18:37,403 --> 00:18:41,684
    - I'm thinking it over.
    - Motherfucker! Fuck.

    202
    00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:47,895
    What the hell are you doing here?
    Don't you know how to knock?

    203
    00:18:47,950 --> 00:18:51,176
    I thought you saw me.
    With your ears.

    204
    00:18:51,254 --> 00:18:55,175
    - You're lucky I didn't shoot you in...
    - The wall? The refrigerator?

    205
    00:18:55,277 --> 00:18:57,784
    I'm in so much pain.

    206
    00:18:59,737 --> 00:19:01,464
    I heard the news, sweetie.

    207
    00:19:01,489 --> 00:19:03,574
    I'm very sorry. I am.

    208
    00:19:03,599 --> 00:19:05,520
    What am I gonna do, Al?

    209
    00:19:05,552 --> 00:19:08,129
    Probably something terrible.

    210
    00:19:08,505 --> 00:19:12,036
    - Knowing you.
    - It was my fault.

    211
    00:19:12,707 --> 00:19:14,832
    I fucking did this.

    212
    00:19:15,457 --> 00:19:19,676
    And all I wanna do is grab her, see her.
    Tell her that I'm sorry and I can't.

    213
    00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:23,239
    She's gone.

    214
    00:19:23,321 --> 00:19:26,746
    Sweetheart, can you speak up?

    215
    00:19:26,831 --> 00:19:29,886
    It's a little hard to hear you with
    that pity dick in your mouth.

    216
    00:19:29,894 --> 00:19:31,097
    Now look, sugar.

    217
    00:19:31,136 --> 00:19:33,972
    - You need to just keep living.
    - Thank you...

    218
    00:19:34,027 --> 00:19:37,323
    Matthew McConaughey, your
    words are a treasure.

    219
    00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:38,969
    Listen to the pain.

    220
    00:19:39,150 --> 00:19:42,165
    It's both history teacher
    and fortune-teller.

    221
    00:19:42,204 --> 00:19:45,493
    Pain teaches us who we'd all be.

    222
    00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:49,411
    Sometimes it's so bad, we
    feel like we're dying.

    223
    00:19:49,857 --> 00:19:53,591
    But we can't really live 'till
    we die a little, can we?

    224
    00:19:55,005 --> 00:19:56,122
    Wade?

    225
    00:19:58,552 --> 00:20:00,871
    - Wade?
    - I'm right here, Althea.

    226
    00:20:00,896 --> 00:20:05,387
    Maybe that's the most beautiful
    thing I've ever heard.

    227
    00:20:05,513 --> 00:20:07,965
    You're absolutely right.

    228
    00:20:10,935 --> 00:20:13,583
    I'm about to do
    something terrible.

    229
    00:20:17,302 --> 00:20:19,520
    There. All caught up.

    230
    00:20:19,537 --> 00:20:22,505
    You can't really live until
    you've died a little.

    231
    00:20:22,544 --> 00:20:24,911
    Let's test that
    theory, shall we?

    232
    00:20:56,727 --> 00:20:59,072
    I love you, Wade Wilson.

    233
    00:21:00,915 --> 00:21:02,352
    Ness?

    234
    00:21:03,578 --> 00:21:04,860
    Ness?

    235
    00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:07,179
    Ness?

    236
    00:21:07,358 --> 00:21:10,787
    Ness, there's something here.
    I can't get to you.

    237
    00:21:11,814 --> 00:21:14,340
    Your heart's not in
    the right place.

    238
    00:21:14,496 --> 00:21:16,777
    Wait. Hold on, what?

    239
    00:21:17,058 --> 00:21:18,869
    Your heart's not in
    the right place.

    240
    00:21:18,894 --> 00:21:22,487
    Wait, what's that, what do you mean my heart's
    not in the right place? What does it...

    241
    00:21:41,659 --> 00:21:45,799
    I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Wade.
    You're broken.

    242
    00:21:45,901 --> 00:21:49,330
    Oh, God. I know that voice.

    243
    00:21:52,947 --> 00:21:56,095
    Heart's in the right place.
    Heart's not, what does that mean?

    244
    00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:57,886
    You've been sleep
    for three days.

    245
    00:21:57,911 --> 00:22:01,205
    - I took the liberty of dressing you.
    - No shit.

    246
    00:22:01,245 --> 00:22:05,073
    - Why can't I fucking die?
    - Take your mask off, Wade.

    247
    00:22:05,143 --> 00:22:08,393
    We must talk. You
    need fresh start.

    248
    00:22:08,822 --> 00:22:11,447
    With training, you can be X-Man.

    249
    00:22:11,472 --> 00:22:13,541
    You're wasting your
    time, shiny Jesus.

    250
    00:22:13,549 --> 00:22:16,947
    - I'm not X-Men material.
    - Understatement of the year.

    251
    00:22:17,025 --> 00:22:19,775
    Wade, Yukio. Yukio, Wade.

    252
    00:22:19,830 --> 00:22:22,556
    What, in the
    fuck-knuckles is this?

    253
    00:22:22,572 --> 00:22:24,361
    She's my girlfriend,
    you intolerant shit.

    254
    00:22:24,369 --> 00:22:27,095
    Whoa! Pump the hate
    brakes, Fox and Friends.

    255
    00:22:27,111 --> 00:22:31,532
    I'm just surprised anyone would date you.
    Especially Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony.

    256
    00:22:31,681 --> 00:22:35,572
    - I like this guy.
    - Give him a chance.

    257
    00:22:35,648 --> 00:22:39,313
    - It's great seeing you like this.
    - Yeah...

    258
    00:22:39,352 --> 00:22:40,352
    Bye, Wade!

    259
    00:22:40,438 --> 00:22:43,234
    Now some ground rules
    while under our roof.

    260
    00:22:43,297 --> 00:22:47,953
    Rule number one: No killing.
    Anyone. Ever.

    261
    00:22:47,978 --> 00:22:49,648
    No matter how bad.

    262
    00:22:49,696 --> 00:22:53,852
    Rule two: Label everything
    in refriger... Wade?

    263
    00:22:54,094 --> 00:22:55,398
    Wade?

    264
    00:22:56,219 --> 00:23:00,672
    Don't try to chase me. Not
    ready to be touched yet.

    265
    00:23:00,882 --> 00:23:03,321
    All these elderly white
    men on the walls.

    266
    00:23:03,346 --> 00:23:05,610
    Should've brought
    my rape whistle.

    267
    00:23:06,094 --> 00:23:08,907
    Those were already damaged
    after they fell there.

    268
    00:23:09,031 --> 00:23:13,149
    What am I supposed to do around here, anyway.
    Sit in a share circle, talk about my feelings?

    269
    00:23:13,173 --> 00:23:16,171
    And how would I do that,
    exactly, because...

    270
    00:23:16,219 --> 00:23:18,680
    Where the fuck is everyone?

    271
    00:23:18,705 --> 00:23:20,953
    It's always just you
    and Negasonic Teenage

    272
    00:23:20,962 --> 00:23:23,266
    - Longest Name ever.
    - Enough!

    273
    00:23:23,274 --> 00:23:24,914
    I said no touching.

    274
    00:23:25,969 --> 00:23:28,859
    What the... fuck.

    275
    00:23:29,172 --> 00:23:31,656
    You'd think the studio
    would throw us a bone.

    276
    00:23:31,681 --> 00:23:34,196
    They can't just dust off
    one of the famous X-Men?

    277
    00:23:34,221 --> 00:23:37,455
    How about that pots with the giant
    pigeon wings? What do those do in there?

    278
    00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:41,040
    Carry them three feet off the ground
    to snatch up the nearest muffin crumb?

    279
    00:23:41,065 --> 00:23:43,310
    No, no, no, no, no. No.

    280
    00:23:43,326 --> 00:23:46,115
    I am not X-men material, at all.

    281
    00:23:46,170 --> 00:23:47,685
    First off...

    282
    00:23:48,748 --> 00:23:51,701
    I'm not even a virgin.
    Sceond, and more...

    283
    00:23:52,599 --> 00:23:56,122
    I should've left you in the
    self-pitying mess I found you in.

    284
    00:23:56,147 --> 00:23:59,005
    But this is what friends do.
    They show up.

    285
    00:23:59,045 --> 00:24:00,873
    Not when convenient or easy.

    286
    00:24:00,889 --> 00:24:02,021
    When hard.

    287
    00:24:02,060 --> 00:24:05,170
    And you always make it hard.

    288
    00:24:05,388 --> 00:24:07,862
    You are unwell.

    289
    00:24:07,887 --> 00:24:10,841
    I'm sticking my
    neck out for you.

    290
    00:24:10,848 --> 00:24:13,980
    One of the assholes who
    killed Vanessa got away.

    291
    00:24:16,519 --> 00:24:19,300
    - Jesus Christ.
     - Wade.

    292
    00:24:19,362 --> 00:24:23,791
    Whoever they are, we track them
    down and bring them to justice.

    293
    00:24:24,028 --> 00:24:25,473
    It was me.

    294
    00:24:28,415 --> 00:24:30,790
    I'm the asshole who got away.

    295
    00:24:31,156 --> 00:24:33,898
    I killed every last one of them.
    Except me.

    296
    00:24:34,070 --> 00:24:36,132
    Couldn't kill me.

    297
    00:24:39,124 --> 00:24:41,288
    We were gonna start a family.

    298
    00:24:42,968 --> 00:24:44,593
    We were, uhh...

    299
    00:24:46,108 --> 00:24:48,139
    We were gonna be a family.

    300
    00:24:48,619 --> 00:24:51,366
    Wade, Vanessa is gone.

    301
    00:24:51,484 --> 00:24:53,530
    She is not coming back.

    302
    00:24:53,935 --> 00:24:56,491
    This may not be family you want.

    303
    00:24:56,505 --> 00:24:58,911
    But, it's family you need.

    304
    00:24:58,994 --> 00:25:03,048
    You have a good heart. It belongs
    here, where it can grow.

    305
    00:25:03,447 --> 00:25:05,103
    What did you say?

    306
    00:25:06,727 --> 00:25:08,680
    About my heart?

    307
    00:25:13,571 --> 00:25:16,055
    I think I'm in the right place.

    308
    00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:30,862
    Wade.

    309
    00:26:31,809 --> 00:26:32,957
    Wade!

    310
    00:26:33,020 --> 00:26:37,504
    Hey. I was just taking Cerebro for a
    spin here. Looking deep into the future.

    311
    00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:41,101
    - This thing...
    - That's not how Cerebro works.

    312
    00:26:41,126 --> 00:26:42,172
    Yes. Yes.

    313
    00:26:42,603 --> 00:26:45,524
    - We have mission.
    - We have mission. We do.

    314
    00:26:45,665 --> 00:26:47,728
    You do. You guys
    stay safe out there.

    315
    00:26:47,759 --> 00:26:51,430
    - No. I want you to join.
    - No. You want me to join.

    316
    00:26:52,243 --> 00:26:54,610
    - I'm sorry. What?
    - You are ready.

    317
    00:26:54,637 --> 00:26:56,893
    That's a terrible idea,
    and it's gonna end badly.

    318
    00:26:56,918 --> 00:26:58,938
    You wanna know how I know?
    I'll give you a hint.

    319
    00:26:58,963 --> 00:27:02,165
    It's on my head and smells
    like Patrick Stewart.

    320
    00:27:02,195 --> 00:27:04,298
    Be at the X-jet in five.

    321
    00:27:06,957 --> 00:27:09,582
    Irene Merryweather, WHIT News.

    322
    00:27:09,605 --> 00:27:14,333
    Live here on a breaking news situation at
    the Essex House for Mutant Rehabilitation.

    323
    00:27:14,372 --> 00:27:19,409
    A mutant boy is appearing to have some sort
    of an incident with police here behind me.

    324
    00:27:19,434 --> 00:27:22,491
    There are two police vehicles
    that are overturned...

    325
    00:27:23,092 --> 00:27:25,387
    A scene of absolute chaos...

    326
    00:27:25,412 --> 00:27:29,053
    I'll burn you! Just stay back.

    327
    00:27:29,092 --> 00:27:33,123
    Get away from me! You
    wanna fucking die?

    328
    00:27:48,190 --> 00:27:54,432
    It appears as if the X-Men are arriving
    with, what appears to be a trainee.

    329
    00:27:54,950 --> 00:27:57,754
    Everyone calm down.
    The pros are here.

    330
    00:27:58,223 --> 00:27:59,574
    We're the X-Men.

    331
    00:27:59,583 --> 00:28:02,277
    A dated metaphor for
    racism in the '60s.

    332
    00:28:02,303 --> 00:28:04,395
    So, respect.

    333
    00:28:04,420 --> 00:28:06,150
    At ease, officer.

    334
    00:28:07,283 --> 00:28:09,150
    What are you doing?

    335
    00:28:09,291 --> 00:28:10,658
    My job.

    336
    00:28:10,683 --> 00:28:13,611
    You're the one who said I was ready
    and I frankly disagreed with you.

    337
    00:28:13,636 --> 00:28:17,651
    But here we are. Trying to overcome
    our differences. Like Beyonce says:

    338
    00:28:17,676 --> 00:28:20,853
    "Please. Please stop
    cheating on me."

    339
    00:28:20,877 --> 00:28:21,877
    Hey!

    340
    00:28:21,962 --> 00:28:23,431
    This is the fifth incident.

    341
    00:28:23,455 --> 00:28:25,673
    This kid needs to be in the Icebox.
    Not here.

    342
    00:28:25,690 --> 00:28:28,631
    Russell belongs in our care.
    Not in prison.

    343
    00:28:28,656 --> 00:28:31,093
    I assure you, we have
    everything under control.

    344
    00:28:31,109 --> 00:28:34,898
    Not getting a real "under
    control" vibe here, Marty.

    345
    00:28:34,906 --> 00:28:36,625
    - It is Glenn, isn't it?
    - Daniel.

    346
    00:28:36,650 --> 00:28:39,406
    I'll ask the questions.
    Let me talk to the kid.

    347
    00:28:39,429 --> 00:28:42,233
    You stay here wth your weird...

    348
    00:28:42,258 --> 00:28:44,022
    Secret sex lips.

    349
    00:28:45,893 --> 00:28:49,016
    - You wanna die?
    - He's so adorable. Dunno why I packed a hollow point.

    350
    00:28:49,041 --> 00:28:53,353
    - I'll burn your balls off.
    - First day. I'm so nervous.

    351
    00:28:53,762 --> 00:28:55,497
    Did you just say hollow points?

    352
    00:28:55,522 --> 00:28:59,107
    Yeah. Probably should've
    brought a super soaker.

    353
    00:28:59,458 --> 00:29:00,942
    Hi, there.

    354
    00:29:01,943 --> 00:29:05,107
    Stay back, or
    Justin Bieber dies.

    355
    00:29:05,349 --> 00:29:08,310
    Justin Bieber. He called
    you Justin Bieber.

    356
    00:29:09,372 --> 00:29:12,379
    Wait, wait. Okay,
    let's not do...

    357
    00:29:12,451 --> 00:29:14,318
    Whatever that is. Okay?

    358
    00:29:14,343 --> 00:29:17,171
    Let's just talk. It's Russell.
    Right?

    359
    00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,421
    - Firefist.
    - Firefist!

    360
    00:29:19,452 --> 00:29:21,094
    That's a great name.

    361
    00:29:21,119 --> 00:29:23,954
    Where does it burn? Just the fist
    or all the way up to the elbow?

    362
    00:29:28,803 --> 00:29:30,521
    Definitely all the
    way up to the elbow.

    363
    00:29:30,538 --> 00:29:33,623
    Come quietly. Or there
    will be trouble.

    364
    00:29:33,756 --> 00:29:35,850
    - You stole that from Robocop.
    - Robocop!

    365
    00:29:36,013 --> 00:29:39,325
    Just stand down. You're
    embarassing me. Look!

    366
    00:29:39,395 --> 00:29:42,020
    Firefi... Fire...!

    367
    00:29:42,724 --> 00:29:45,739
    I can't say it. I'm so sorry!

    368
    00:29:49,903 --> 00:29:52,778
    Shit. That fucking does it!

    369
    00:29:52,794 --> 00:29:55,966
    Put your hands behind your knees
    and get down in your head, now!

    370
    00:29:55,991 --> 00:29:56,803
    Wade!

    371
    00:29:56,828 --> 00:29:58,123
    What was first rule?

    372
    00:29:58,131 --> 00:29:59,818
    Label everything in
    the refrigerator!

    373
    00:29:59,843 --> 00:30:02,913
    - Do not escalate!
    - Rules are meant to be broken!

    374
    00:30:02,938 --> 00:30:06,311
    That's the exact opposite
    of what they are meant for!

    375
    00:30:06,482 --> 00:30:08,201
    Fuck! Fine.

    376
    00:30:08,553 --> 00:30:10,201
    I'll start from the beginning.

    377
    00:30:10,217 --> 00:30:13,772
    - My name is Deadpool, and I'm an X-Man.
    - Trainee!

    378
    00:30:14,404 --> 00:30:16,193
    I get it.

    379
    00:30:16,592 --> 00:30:18,646
    All right? You're scared.

    380
    00:30:18,794 --> 00:30:19,966
    Alone.

    381
    00:30:20,123 --> 00:30:23,841
    You got no family? I didn't have a family.
    You live in this dump? Well guess what?

    382
    00:30:23,866 --> 00:30:26,334
    I used to live in a
    shithole just like it.

    383
    00:30:26,397 --> 00:30:27,748
    But you know something?

    384
    00:30:27,773 --> 00:30:29,318
    I think that is worse.

    385
    00:30:29,343 --> 00:30:32,084
    It's a confusing time in your
    life right now. Your body...

    386
    00:30:32,147 --> 00:30:34,655
    Is going through
    some fiery changes.

    387
    00:30:34,702 --> 00:30:37,256
    Too far. I went too far.

    388
    00:30:43,647 --> 00:30:45,835
    That was effervescent.

    389
    00:30:46,482 --> 00:30:50,052
    Stay in school kid.
    Or don't. I didn't.

    390
    00:30:50,091 --> 00:30:53,091
    - I'm an X-Man.
    - Trainee.

    391
    00:30:53,154 --> 00:30:56,598
    Fuck it. Superhero
    landing coming up.

    392
    00:31:00,364 --> 00:31:03,793
    Fuck, fuck, fuck.
    That's so impractical.

    393
    00:31:24,038 --> 00:31:27,264
    - I could get used to this X-Men shit.
    - Trainee!

    394
    00:31:27,311 --> 00:31:28,452
    Trainee!

    395
    00:31:28,483 --> 00:31:31,779
    - Get a collar and restrain him, now.
    - Calm down, squirt.

    396
    00:31:31,804 --> 00:31:34,568
    It's over. We got ya.

    397
    00:31:35,516 --> 00:31:36,797
    What's that do?

    398
    00:31:36,829 --> 00:31:38,586
    Power dampening collar.

    399
    00:31:38,602 --> 00:31:41,539
    Shuts down all mutant abilities.
    Can't get it off.

    400
    00:31:41,555 --> 00:31:43,742
    Unless you've got a grenade.

    401
    00:31:43,767 --> 00:31:46,032
    Could've used one of
    those in the first act.

    402
    00:31:46,095 --> 00:31:47,501
    Thank you.

    403
    00:31:48,939 --> 00:31:51,306
    That was absolutely thrilling.

    404
    00:31:51,330 --> 00:31:55,579
    True heroism in action.
    We are in your debt.

    405
    00:31:55,727 --> 00:31:57,540
    We can take it from here.

    406
    00:31:57,565 --> 00:32:01,127
    Take me to the Icebox, please.
    Anywhere is better than here.

    407
    00:32:01,152 --> 00:32:03,979
    Believe me son, you do not
    wanna go to the Icebox.

    408
    00:32:04,018 --> 00:32:05,764
    Let's get you inside, young man.

    409
    00:32:05,789 --> 00:32:09,687
    No, wait. Wait, you just,
    you guys stay there.

    410
    00:32:19,519 --> 00:32:21,387
    Those guys hurt you?

    411
    00:32:22,536 --> 00:32:23,738
    Who?

    412
    00:32:26,028 --> 00:32:29,160
    Baldylocks? Jared Kushner?

    413
    00:32:36,106 --> 00:32:38,402
    Fuck it. Four or five moments.

    414
    00:32:38,427 --> 00:32:40,879
    - I'm sorry?
    - Four...

    415
    00:32:40,903 --> 00:32:43,262
    Or five moments.

    416
    00:32:44,027 --> 00:32:47,495
    That's all it takes
    to be a hero.

    417
    00:32:47,652 --> 00:32:49,987
    People think you wake up a hero.

    418
    00:32:50,058 --> 00:32:52,253
    Brush your teeth a hero.

    419
    00:32:52,277 --> 00:32:55,487
    Ejaculate into a soap
    dispenser a hero.

    420
    00:32:56,421 --> 00:32:59,069
    But no. Being a hero

    421
    00:32:59,094 --> 00:33:01,647
    takes only a few moments.

    422
    00:33:01,686 --> 00:33:06,232
    Few moments doing the ugly
    stuff no one else will do.

    423
    00:33:09,484 --> 00:33:10,640
    No!

    424
    00:33:14,444 --> 00:33:16,881
    - Wade, what did you do?
    - Colossus, no!

    425
    00:33:16,906 --> 00:33:19,312
    That kid was abused. You can
    tell, you can always tell.

    426
    00:33:19,337 --> 00:33:23,048
    We have rules. You are not
    judge, jury or executioner.

    427
    00:33:23,064 --> 00:33:26,204
    Fuck your rules. I fight
    for what's right.

    428
    00:33:26,212 --> 00:33:27,868
    And sometimes, you
    gotta fight dirty.

    429
    00:33:27,906 --> 00:33:31,484
    You let me down for
    the last time, Wade.

    430
    00:34:01,123 --> 00:34:03,521
    I wonder what gang I'll be in.

    431
    00:34:05,279 --> 00:34:08,349
    Is there like a sorting hat?

    432
    00:34:13,361 --> 00:34:15,978
    Hard left, douchebag.

    433
    00:34:19,033 --> 00:34:20,955
    Please. After you.

    434
    00:34:21,228 --> 00:34:24,696
    Another disgusting mutant off the streets.
    God bless America.

    435
    00:34:24,735 --> 00:34:26,375
    It's a good to talk a little.

    436
    00:34:29,625 --> 00:34:32,265
    Nighty-night, you
    annoying prick.

    437
    00:35:04,507 --> 00:35:08,038
    But I'm gonna tell you
    what the big lie is.

    438
    00:35:08,117 --> 00:35:09,390
    Toilet paper.

    439
    00:35:09,445 --> 00:35:12,562
    Toilet paper is
    certified appetizer.

    440
    00:35:12,632 --> 00:35:14,390
    But then...

    441
    00:35:15,050 --> 00:35:17,409
    Huggies Natural Care wet wipes.

    442
    00:35:17,464 --> 00:35:20,721
    That's your main course. They're soft.
    They're moist.

    443
    00:35:20,745 --> 00:35:22,698
    They're for babies.

    444
    00:35:22,777 --> 00:35:27,542
    And finally. One more patch of toilet paper
    made me clear out that excess moisture.

    445
    00:35:27,561 --> 00:35:30,537
    Maybe treat yourself to a glow and go
    if you can get you a hair dryer.

    446
    00:35:30,562 --> 00:35:33,318
    Just about thirty seconds
    until you get...

    447
    00:35:36,216 --> 00:35:37,670
    What the fuck.

    448
    00:35:38,788 --> 00:35:40,154
    Year?

    449
    00:35:40,842 --> 00:35:42,162
    What?

    450
    00:35:42,952 --> 00:35:44,608
    What year is it?

    451
    00:35:44,780 --> 00:35:47,545
    What kind of dumbass
    question is that to ask?

    452
    00:36:06,054 --> 00:36:09,530
    - You're a long way from your superpowers.
    - Yeah.

    453
    00:36:09,596 --> 00:36:10,686
    Okay.

    454
    00:36:14,262 --> 00:36:16,418
    I wanted to be a superhero.

    455
    00:36:16,431 --> 00:36:19,001
    Always wanted my own supersuit.

    456
    00:36:19,026 --> 00:36:23,026
    - What happened?
    - When's the last time you saw a plus-sized superhero?

    457
    00:36:23,051 --> 00:36:26,963
    Never. The industry
    discriminates.

    458
    00:36:27,081 --> 00:36:28,862
    Fuck superheroes.

    459
    00:36:28,901 --> 00:36:30,559
    Fuck everyone.

    460
    00:36:30,847 --> 00:36:33,621
    The first thing I'm gonna do
    when I get out of here...

    461
    00:36:33,645 --> 00:36:39,012
    Burn the Headmaster alive, and then take
    a selfie with the smoldering corpse.

    462
    00:36:39,136 --> 00:36:41,520
    Who says prison
    isn't informative?

    463
    00:36:41,543 --> 00:36:43,535
    Fucker hates mutants.

    464
    00:36:44,270 --> 00:36:47,902
    Blessed are the wicked who
    are healed by my hand.

    465
    00:36:47,949 --> 00:36:50,020
    Your abilities...

    466
    00:36:51,043 --> 00:36:54,089
    I know how seductive they are.

    467
    00:36:55,345 --> 00:36:57,563
    Please, no more crying.

    468
    00:37:03,797 --> 00:37:07,476
    Tomorrow, I'll find the
    biggest guy in here.

    469
    00:37:08,422 --> 00:37:10,211
    I'm gonna make him my b...

    470
    00:37:12,867 --> 00:37:16,913
    - What was that?
    - That is the biggest guy in here.

    471
    00:37:17,180 --> 00:37:21,139
    Fun fact about the Icebox:
    though no one's ever seen it,

    472
    00:37:21,164 --> 00:37:23,453
    they keep a monster
    in the basement.

    473
    00:37:23,547 --> 00:37:27,576
    Right next to a huge steaming
    bowl of foreshadowing.

    474
    00:37:27,601 --> 00:37:28,632
    Look...

    475
    00:37:29,516 --> 00:37:31,781
    I can't protect you.

    476
    00:37:31,825 --> 00:37:36,147
    With this collar on, my superpower
    is just unbridled cancer.

    477
    00:37:36,161 --> 00:37:39,442
    Give me a bow and arrow, and
    I'm basically Hawkeye.

    478
    00:37:39,535 --> 00:37:44,902
    Now if you'll excuse me, I've got
    tumors to grow. Vanessa awaits.

    479
    00:37:44,933 --> 00:37:47,392
    I'll start by making us a shank.

    480
    00:37:47,417 --> 00:37:50,979
    - Good listening.
    - I saw that guard's pen and stashed it in the old,

    481
    00:37:51,004 --> 00:37:55,221
    - prison wallet. If you know what I'm saying?
    - Prison wallet?

    482
    00:37:56,347 --> 00:37:59,018
    I really hope I don't
    know what you're saying.

    483
    00:38:00,823 --> 00:38:04,159
    I can hear you rummaging
    around in there.

    484
    00:38:08,268 --> 00:38:11,160
    Here to update you on the
    story reported earlier...

    485
    00:38:11,185 --> 00:38:15,617
    After a lengthy stand-off outside the
    Essex House for Mutant Rehabilitation,

    486
    00:38:15,650 --> 00:38:18,673
    two mutants were arrested and
    transported to the Icebox.

    487
    00:38:18,689 --> 00:38:21,173
    Entering repair mode.

    488
    00:39:04,075 --> 00:39:05,918
    Don't. Don't do that.

    489
    00:39:06,536 --> 00:39:09,356
    What? Why are you winking at me?

    490
    00:39:13,385 --> 00:39:16,010
    - I've got your back.
    - Oh, my God.

    491
    00:39:16,035 --> 00:39:19,400
    - I said I'm gonna protect you.
    - Just leave me alone, kid.

    492
    00:39:20,527 --> 00:39:22,167
    Oh, great.

    493
    00:39:23,223 --> 00:39:26,042
    Well. Look at our new friends.

    494
    00:39:26,072 --> 00:39:28,892
    It's nice to see some
    fresh faces around here.

    495
    00:39:28,917 --> 00:39:33,815
    That's some light catalogue, but really,
    modelling's just a stepping stone for acting.

    496
    00:39:33,886 --> 00:39:36,260
    I wasn't talking to him.

    497
    00:39:36,576 --> 00:39:39,818
    Have we met? Can't
    place your moustache.

    498
    00:39:40,021 --> 00:39:42,709
    - Black Tom Cassidy.
    - White Wade Wilson.

    499
    00:39:42,756 --> 00:39:45,990
    What's your superpower?
    Cultural appropriation?

    500
    00:39:46,030 --> 00:39:48,865
    You're supposed to be the
    toughest cunt in here.

    501
    00:39:48,881 --> 00:39:51,427
    You don't look like much to me.

    502
    00:39:51,452 --> 00:39:56,428
    First rule of the yard, fuck-face. Find
    the biggest guy and make him your...

    503
    00:39:59,823 --> 00:40:04,807
    Second biggest guy. The last
    thing I need is more hepatitis.

    504
    00:40:04,870 --> 00:40:08,033
    It's slippery, too. This
    table needs a wipedown.

    505
    00:40:08,058 --> 00:40:10,558
    Can we get a wipedown
    on the table?

    506
    00:40:11,347 --> 00:40:14,761
    - Kid, I think you picked the wrong side.
    - No I didn't.

    507
    00:40:14,769 --> 00:40:18,722
    - He's my friend.
    - Zip it. We're not friends.

    508
    00:40:19,807 --> 00:40:22,362
    You're about to get
    dick-slapped...

    509
    00:40:33,396 --> 00:40:37,333
    I had so much fun. You were
    like, and I was like...

    510
    00:40:37,381 --> 00:40:41,170
    - Please, let me die in peace.
    - We make a great team.

    511
    00:40:41,787 --> 00:40:43,396
    We're not a team.

    512
    00:40:44,412 --> 00:40:48,443
    I just saved your back there.
    We're friends. Partners.

    513
    00:40:48,506 --> 00:40:51,333
    We're not partners. Or friends.

    514
    00:40:52,406 --> 00:40:56,515
    This doesn't end with us riding into the
    sunset. It ends with me dying of cancer.

    515
    00:40:56,536 --> 00:41:00,202
    And you winning the Icebox
    award for Softest Mouth.

    516
    00:41:02,064 --> 00:41:05,829
    There's only one person in this world
    that I care about, and she's gone.

    517
    00:41:06,974 --> 00:41:09,481
    You wanna survive?

    518
    00:41:10,369 --> 00:41:15,478
    Stop trying to shank the biggest guys
    in here. Make friends with them.

    519
    00:41:16,916 --> 00:41:19,431
    Make friends with someone.

    520
    00:41:19,783 --> 00:41:22,197
    Anyone but me.

    521
    00:41:22,475 --> 00:41:25,413
    Maybe even Black Tim.

    522
    00:41:25,585 --> 00:41:29,897
    Black Evan? I don't know. All I
    remember is he's African-American.

    523
    00:42:28,104 --> 00:42:29,752
    Searching.

    524
    00:42:30,479 --> 00:42:33,197
    Cell 0-4. Located.

    525
    00:42:33,852 --> 00:42:36,283
    The door won't open.

    526
    00:43:14,790 --> 00:43:17,227
    That was our cell.

    527
    00:43:18,602 --> 00:43:22,953
    What did I do to piss off a grumpy old
    fucker with a Winter Soldier arm?

    528
    00:43:31,511 --> 00:43:33,971
    Get away from me, kid.

    529
    00:43:41,094 --> 00:43:42,758
    Listen to me, go!

    530
    00:43:47,664 --> 00:43:50,031
    Hello, Russell.

    531
    00:45:12,453 --> 00:45:14,671
    Hello, superpowers.

    532
    00:45:31,799 --> 00:45:33,572
    Who are you?

    533
    00:45:33,611 --> 00:45:34,986
    I'm Batman.

    534
    00:45:53,276 --> 00:45:55,807
    That's got some zip!

    535
    00:46:03,109 --> 00:46:06,703
    Don't do that. Even
    I can't kill me.

    536
    00:46:06,828 --> 00:46:08,070
    Talk!

    537
    00:46:08,344 --> 00:46:12,249
    What kind of spineless shitstick
    tries to kill a 14-year old boy?

    538
    00:46:12,930 --> 00:46:17,070
    You might wanna start talking because I got a
    long history of firing at times like this.

    539
    00:46:18,055 --> 00:46:23,156
    The name's Cable. I'm from the future.
    Just walk away.

    540
    00:46:24,925 --> 00:46:30,112
    So you're from the future. All
    right, three questions, then. One...

    541
    00:46:30,155 --> 00:46:32,479
    Is dubstep still a thing?

    542
    00:46:32,489 --> 00:46:36,723
    Two. What Sharknado are we on?
    And three...

    543
    00:46:36,747 --> 00:46:40,967
    At what point do I need to say,
    enough with the robotic arms?

    544
    00:47:22,818 --> 00:47:26,263
    - Dubstep's for pussies.
    - You're so dark!

    545
    00:47:26,302 --> 00:47:29,028
    Are you sure you're not
    from the DC Universe?

    546
    00:47:29,107 --> 00:47:31,622
    They love dubstep!

    547
    00:47:57,018 --> 00:48:01,650
    Is that a fanny pack? I used to have
    one of those in ninety-ninetynever.

    548
    00:48:02,096 --> 00:48:06,189
    - Something to remember you by.
    - Give me that back.

    549
    00:48:06,213 --> 00:48:11,369
    That goes with me everywhere. Like
    the memory of your fucking fanny pack.

    550
    00:48:20,122 --> 00:48:22,473
    Why are you protecting the kid?

    551
    00:48:23,371 --> 00:48:26,144
    I don't give a fuck about him.

    552
    00:48:26,199 --> 00:48:29,191
    He's arguably had
    a mother complex.

    553
    00:48:30,643 --> 00:48:33,128
    What's this one do?

    554
    00:48:45,972 --> 00:48:50,034
    In every film, is a moment when
    the hero hits rock bottom.

    555
    00:48:50,159 --> 00:48:53,659
    In Cool Runnings, it was when John
    Candy's prized bobsled broke.

    556
    00:48:53,876 --> 00:48:58,540
    In Human Centipede, it was when those
    people, signed on to be in that movie.

    557
    00:48:58,585 --> 00:49:02,691
    But in this film, well,
    you're looking at it.

    558
    00:49:07,145 --> 00:49:08,527
    Rock...

    559
    00:49:11,709 --> 00:49:14,099
    Meet bottom.

    560
    00:49:25,195 --> 00:49:26,460
    Ness?

    561
    00:49:27,375 --> 00:49:29,250
    Hey, Ness!

    562
    00:49:29,696 --> 00:49:32,781
    Ness! Can you let me in? Please!

    563
    00:49:32,922 --> 00:49:34,578
    Please.

    564
    00:49:35,101 --> 00:49:37,061
    Oh, Jesus.

    565
    00:49:39,655 --> 00:49:43,912
    You're not giving a lot of direction here.
    I'm at the end of my rope.

    566
    00:49:45,860 --> 00:49:48,227
    I joined the X-Men...

    567
    00:49:48,390 --> 00:49:50,773
    Went to prison, with a...

    568
    00:49:53,875 --> 00:49:55,664
    With a kid.

    569
    00:49:57,597 --> 00:50:01,636
    Kids give us a chance to be
    better than we used to be.

    570
    00:50:01,753 --> 00:50:03,534
    The kid!

    571
    00:50:16,718 --> 00:50:19,780
    That's exactly what she meant. Your
    heart needs to be in the right place.

    572
    00:50:19,835 --> 00:50:23,795
    I'm not gonna abandon this kid.
    He's never had anyone. Ever.

    573
    00:50:24,358 --> 00:50:27,420
    - I need to be selfless.
    - Yeah. But was does that mean?

    574
    00:50:27,445 --> 00:50:31,148
    It means, I'mma save Russell.

    575
    00:50:31,218 --> 00:50:35,233
    Maybe I couldn't save Nessa, but maybe I can
    save a robust teenager from New Zealand.

    576
    00:50:35,258 --> 00:50:39,265
    Yeah, what I mean is the word selfless.
    I really don't know what that means.

    577
    00:50:39,336 --> 00:50:41,218
    - Jesus Christ.
    - Okay.

    578
    00:50:41,235 --> 00:50:43,289
    Look, according to my guy,

    579
    00:50:43,313 --> 00:50:47,140
    those muties are being transferred
    to a super-max 80 miles away.

    580
    00:50:47,172 --> 00:50:51,172
    - Great. I'll pick them off along the way.
    - Hold your testicles there, buddy. Okay?

    581
    00:50:51,197 --> 00:50:55,914
    We're talking about an armored convoy. And,
    a vicious super-soldier from the future

    582
    00:50:55,939 --> 00:50:59,632
    - just looking to turn your skull into a fuckable ashtray.
    - You know what we need to do?

    583
    00:50:59,656 --> 00:51:02,687
    We need to build a fucking team.
    We need them tough,

    584
    00:51:02,712 --> 00:51:06,546
    morally flexible, and young enough so they
    can carry this franchise 10 to 12 years.

    585
    00:51:06,578 --> 00:51:10,710
    - My body is an instrument of death.
    - Not now, Dopinder.

    586
    00:51:10,780 --> 00:51:14,842
    - I could be of great use.
    - What's your superpower?

    587
    00:51:16,362 --> 00:51:18,105
    That's adorable.

    588
    00:51:18,145 --> 00:51:23,362
    You had the courage to check and see if there're
    enough sanitary napkins in the dispenser?

    589
    00:51:23,387 --> 00:51:26,335
    Sorry you had to see that.
    No, I'm glad you heard it.

    590
    00:51:27,064 --> 00:51:31,241
    All right, I'll put out a call for resumes.
    But we're not paying medical or dental.

    591
    00:51:31,288 --> 00:51:34,165
    It's time to get
    back on LinkedIn.

    592
    00:52:11,388 --> 00:52:14,591
    Transport will begin
    at 0800 hours.

    593
    00:52:15,817 --> 00:52:19,098
    - The fuck you want?
    - That's my fucking pudding.

    594
    00:52:19,182 --> 00:52:21,246
    Fuck your pudding.

    595
    00:52:42,414 --> 00:52:43,953
    Hello?

    596
    00:52:45,601 --> 00:52:47,703
    I know you're in there.

    597
    00:53:03,606 --> 00:53:06,215
    Must be hard being the
    biggest guy in here.

    598
    00:53:07,262 --> 00:53:08,887
    Lonely at the top.

    599
    00:53:09,496 --> 00:53:12,114
    They're moving us tomorrow.

    600
    00:53:14,008 --> 00:53:16,848
    Maybe I can get you out of here.

    601
    00:53:17,235 --> 00:53:20,797
    We can make the whole
    world our bitch.

    602
    00:53:22,054 --> 00:53:25,037
    We need a secret code.

    603
    00:53:26,287 --> 00:53:29,427
    No, that's stupid, Russell.
    You idiot.

    604
    00:53:36,888 --> 00:53:40,341
    We're a team. We're like
    thugs, we're like gangsters.

    605
    00:53:40,420 --> 00:53:43,724
    I'm like 2Pac, and
    you're like Ice Cube.

    606
    00:53:47,116 --> 00:53:48,860
    Terrific. These
    are all terrific.

    607
    00:53:48,885 --> 00:53:50,711
    Meet Bedlam.

    608
    00:53:50,736 --> 00:53:52,955
    Cool name. Superpowers?

    609
    00:53:53,007 --> 00:53:55,796
    I can distort electrical fields.

    610
    00:53:55,820 --> 00:54:02,046
    Including the one inside your brain.
    Causing anxiety, confusion, pain.

    611
    00:54:02,907 --> 00:54:06,345
    So basically, you're Dave Matthews.
    We can use him.

    612
    00:54:07,517 --> 00:54:10,329
    - I'm Zeitgeist.
    - Cool.

    613
    00:54:10,431 --> 00:54:13,759
    I'd like to say you have the
    power to put your finger on the,

    614
    00:54:13,784 --> 00:54:18,727
    - the pulse of society?
    - No. No, I spit acidic vomit.

    615
    00:54:19,623 --> 00:54:22,216
    - You want me to demonstrate?
    - No, we'll take your word for it.

    616
    00:54:22,241 --> 00:54:24,929
    Listen, we're all eating at Arby's.
    Okay?

    617
    00:54:24,954 --> 00:54:27,602
    This is the Vanisher.

    618
    00:54:30,306 --> 00:54:31,500
    But...

    619
    00:54:33,006 --> 00:54:35,045
    Vanisher!

    620
    00:54:36,819 --> 00:54:39,154
    - Nice!
    - Right?

    621
    00:54:39,772 --> 00:54:42,662
    - He's not here, is he?
    - He may be running late.

    622
    00:54:44,177 --> 00:54:48,020
    - My name's Rusty but I go by Shatterstar.
    - That's good. Yeah.

    623
    00:54:48,045 --> 00:54:50,341
    Rusty is... terrible.

    624
    00:54:50,370 --> 00:54:53,291
    - So, where are you from?
    - The planet Mojoworld.

    625
    00:54:53,315 --> 00:54:57,034
    So you're an alien, I guess.
    How does that help us?

    626
    00:54:57,050 --> 00:54:59,987
    I'm basically better
    than you at everything.

    627
    00:55:00,026 --> 00:55:05,416
    For just once I wanna find a planet with people that are worse
    than me at everything. Whole bunch of functional idiots.

    628
    00:55:05,498 --> 00:55:08,691
    - I'm gonna go there and be their Superman.
    - Isn't that Canada?

    629
    00:55:08,716 --> 00:55:11,606
    You shut your goddamn
    trash mouth.

    630
    00:55:12,779 --> 00:55:14,295
    - Meet...
    - Domino.

    631
    00:55:14,326 --> 00:55:16,435
    - What's your shtick?
    - I'm lucky.

    632
    00:55:16,482 --> 00:55:19,490
    - If you're so lucky then what are you doing here with us?
    - I don't know yet.

    633
    00:55:19,521 --> 00:55:22,224
    - What's that supposed to mean?
    - It means that I don't know yet.

    634
    00:55:22,279 --> 00:55:26,582
    But there's a reason why I'm here. I don't know
    why I know. Everything usually works out for me.

    635
    00:55:26,607 --> 00:55:29,169
    - Luck isn't a superpower.
    - Yes, it is.

    636
    00:55:29,193 --> 00:55:32,497
    - No it's not. No-nay. Mario No-pez.
    - Yes it is. Hmm-mmm.

    637
    00:55:32,529 --> 00:55:33,529
    - Yeah.
    - Not-cho cheese.

    638
    00:55:33,545 --> 00:55:35,513
    - No, definitely...
    - There's no way...

    639
    00:55:35,537 --> 00:55:37,763
    - I, sorry I was interrupting you.
    - No. I interrupted you.

    640
    00:55:37,771 --> 00:55:40,614
    - No, no, no. You can go first.
    - I was just gonna say, no it's not.

    641
    00:55:40,636 --> 00:55:43,349
    I was gonna just bring it
    back to that, yes, it is.

    642
    00:55:43,395 --> 00:55:47,059
    - Let's meet in the middle and say no, it isn't.
    - But it is.

    643
    00:55:47,106 --> 00:55:48,106
    Okay...

    644
    00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:51,316
    - You're hired!
    - Oh, lucky me.

    645
    00:55:51,340 --> 00:55:52,793
    She's great.

    646
    00:55:53,207 --> 00:55:56,012
    - And last, but not least.
    - Peter.

    647
    00:55:57,471 --> 00:55:59,705
    Are you cat-fished here? Or...

    648
    00:56:00,010 --> 00:56:03,252
    Any powers you wanna tell us about?
    Any, uh... Nope?

    649
    00:56:03,541 --> 00:56:08,400
    I don't have them. I just saw the
    ad and, thought it looked fun.

    650
    00:56:09,644 --> 00:56:10,720
    - You're in.
    - Yeah.

    651
    00:56:10,745 --> 00:56:11,847
    Fuck!

    652
    00:56:20,297 --> 00:56:22,031
    Let's go!

    653
    00:56:35,453 --> 00:56:39,054
    This is convoy 17. Departing the Icebox.
    We're inbound.

    654
    00:56:46,901 --> 00:56:49,674
    Peacetime makes people soft.

    655
    00:56:50,689 --> 00:56:53,088
    I was born into war.

    656
    00:56:54,135 --> 00:56:56,181
    Bred into it.

    657
    00:56:56,502 --> 00:56:59,728
    - Okay.
    - People think they understand pain.

    658
    00:57:00,282 --> 00:57:03,719
    What's the most pain
    you've ever felt?

    659
    00:57:04,703 --> 00:57:07,383
    - These strains are pretty...
    - I've done a list.

    660
    00:57:08,172 --> 00:57:12,742
    We're gonna work down it.
    Together.

    661
    00:57:13,016 --> 00:57:15,992
    Number one, I'm gonna
    bend something.

    662
    00:57:16,117 --> 00:57:18,507
    Something that was
    not meant to bend.

    663
    00:57:18,531 --> 00:57:20,827
    Yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there.
    Because I'm not gonna make it to two.

    664
    00:57:20,844 --> 00:57:23,913
    I won't even make it to one. I
    don't do well with pain, you know?

    665
    00:57:23,929 --> 00:57:26,531
    I'm done for the day.

    666
    00:57:26,547 --> 00:57:28,866
    I cried when they
    cancelled Felicity.

    667
    00:57:28,883 --> 00:57:32,179
    Right. I'm really scared, I get nervous
    erections. I got one right now.

    668
    00:57:32,195 --> 00:57:35,976
    Don't look at it, only make it worse. I don't
    want you to hurt me and I'll tell you anything,

    669
    00:57:36,008 --> 00:57:40,116
    anything you wanna know.
    Except for where they are.

    670
    00:57:40,203 --> 00:57:45,679
    Russell's in a convoy heading southbound on Cherry Duggan
    parkway. The monster's with him. I wouldn't fuck with him.

    671
    00:57:45,719 --> 00:57:49,781
    Intercept the convoy. Grab the boy.
    Not inappropriately.

    672
    00:57:49,806 --> 00:57:53,351
    Know what, I wouldn't fuck with Deadpool
    either. Because he's built a team.

    673
    00:57:53,376 --> 00:57:57,454
    - He's unstoppable.
    - He has an ass-pen. He'll stab you with it.

    674
    00:57:57,471 --> 00:57:59,877
    Watch out for this guy, Cable.

    675
    00:57:59,885 --> 00:58:03,346
    He's very short. 5'11".
    Not like in the comics.

    676
    00:58:03,377 --> 00:58:05,955
    And if we succeed, we'll
    all go home early.

    677
    00:58:05,980 --> 00:58:09,011
    So you go after them Cable.
    I warn you.

    678
    00:58:09,535 --> 00:58:11,953
    There's a wind
    advisory in effect.

    679
    00:58:22,291 --> 00:58:24,533
    A little turbulent out there.

    680
    00:58:31,295 --> 00:58:33,881
    I don't know much about this
    Cable fella, but I guarantee,

    681
    00:58:33,906 --> 00:58:36,584
    he hasn't killed as many
    people as melanoma has.

    682
    00:58:38,083 --> 00:58:41,171
    - We're getting close.
    - As a former X-Man...

    683
    00:58:41,174 --> 00:58:42,872
    - Trainee.
    - Thank you, Bedlam.

    684
    00:58:42,896 --> 00:58:46,834
    I was always appalled by the blatant
    sexism in the group's name.

    685
    00:58:46,858 --> 00:58:48,779
    "X-Men?" Men?

    686
    00:58:48,818 --> 00:58:53,200
    The point is our group will be
    forward-thinking. Gender neutral.

    687
    00:58:53,225 --> 00:58:56,521
    From now on, we'll
    be known as...

    688
    00:58:57,817 --> 00:58:59,371
    X-Force.

    689
    00:58:59,380 --> 00:59:03,817
    - Isn't that a little derivative?
    - I don't recall asking your opinion, Peter.

    690
    00:59:04,597 --> 00:59:06,378
    That wasn't me.

    691
    00:59:13,068 --> 00:59:17,257
    Hang along, we are at 1,300 feet.
    Intercept the convoy and grab the boy.

    692
    00:59:17,282 --> 00:59:20,922
    - Let's bring on the carnage, baby!
    - Get me on the ground, watch me go!

    693
    00:59:20,946 --> 00:59:22,766
    - Yeah!
    - Woo!

    694
    00:59:24,860 --> 00:59:28,625
    I just... I just wanna say
    how proud I am of this team.

    695
    00:59:28,650 --> 00:59:31,689
    You know, you guys,
    look amazing.

    696
    00:59:31,767 --> 00:59:34,563
    Vanisher I have no doubt
    you look amazing, too.

    697
    00:59:34,588 --> 00:59:37,744
    If this is the family that I've
    always dreamed of having, I had...

    698
    00:59:38,104 --> 00:59:40,877
    Shit. I missed out.

    699
    00:59:40,908 --> 00:59:42,853
    I have struggles
    with that sometimes.

    700
    00:59:42,878 --> 00:59:46,535
    - I hate to interrupt but is anybody
    nervous about the hard winds?
    - Gary.

    701
    00:59:46,560 --> 00:59:49,287
    - My name's Peter.
    - I realize you're new to this. Relax.

    702
    00:59:49,312 --> 00:59:52,366
    - You've been chosen by a higher power.
    - Did he just call himself god?

    703
    00:59:52,398 --> 00:59:54,448
    - I think he did.
    - I'd like to go home.

    704
    00:59:54,473 --> 00:59:57,393
    And I'd like the McRib to
    be available year-round!

    705
    00:59:57,418 --> 00:59:58,769
    But sometimes...

    706
    00:59:59,371 --> 01:00:02,707
    You think we didn't jump out the
    plane to get a light breeze?

    707
    01:00:02,738 --> 01:00:05,058
    Cure this shit now, moustache!

    708
    01:00:05,128 --> 01:00:09,440
    I'm only yelling to impress the other guys. I'll
    never let anything happen to you, Sugarbear.

    709
    01:00:09,456 --> 01:00:12,776
    Hit it!

    710
    01:00:20,269 --> 01:00:23,573
    Go! Go! Go!

    711
    01:00:57,778 --> 01:00:59,372
    Let's get some!

    712
    01:01:00,740 --> 01:01:02,083
    Oh, yeah!

    713
    01:01:02,108 --> 01:01:05,498
    Convoy, 12 o'clock.
    On my command.

    714
    01:01:05,686 --> 01:01:07,897
    Deploy!

    715
    01:01:14,323 --> 01:01:16,526
    A little off-course here.

    716
    01:01:17,784 --> 01:01:20,784
    Holy mommy fucking shit!

    717
    01:01:21,893 --> 01:01:25,916
    There they are. Look at these
    gorgeous sons of bitches.

    718
    01:01:26,783 --> 01:01:29,189
    Oh, yeah. That's right, Bedlam.

    719
    01:01:34,828 --> 01:01:37,593
    Motherfucking village!

    720
    01:01:38,087 --> 01:01:41,477
    Shatterstar. Okay. You got this.

    721
    01:01:41,907 --> 01:01:44,297
    Left. Left!

    722
    01:01:44,313 --> 01:01:47,063
    Left, you idiot!

    723
    01:01:50,466 --> 01:01:54,153
    Well, I guess we found
    something you're not good at.

    724
    01:01:54,990 --> 01:01:56,372
    Vanisher.

    725
    01:01:56,482 --> 01:01:59,317
    Maybe the wind can't
    blow what it can't see.

    726
    01:02:01,591 --> 01:02:05,200
    Really? All right. We
    can do this with four.

    727
    01:02:05,630 --> 01:02:08,340
    Sugarbear. You got this, buddy.

    728
    01:02:08,380 --> 01:02:11,661
    That's the stuff.
    That's the X-Force spirit.

    729
    01:02:11,686 --> 01:02:16,098
    Never underestimate a man in a moustache.
    Just ask anyone in Brooklyn.

    730
    01:02:16,372 --> 01:02:20,137
    - You're a goddamn superhero, you!
    - X-Force!

    731
    01:02:20,162 --> 01:02:21,787
    X-Force!

    732
    01:02:31,181 --> 01:02:34,298
    - Peter.
    - I got you. You'll be fine.

    733
    01:02:34,377 --> 01:02:37,274
    You got this big guy.
    There we go, Peter!

    734
    01:02:37,330 --> 01:02:41,274
    - We're X-Force, right?
    - We're X-Force!

    735
    01:02:44,237 --> 01:02:46,572
    Oh, my God! What the fuck?

    736
    01:02:46,604 --> 01:02:49,377
    Fucking acidic vomit!

    737
    01:02:50,425 --> 01:02:53,682
    Oh, God.

    738
    01:02:56,220 --> 01:03:00,868
    Okay, I'm over the convoy. Where
    did the rest of the team land?

    739
    01:03:01,071 --> 01:03:02,852
    Good news and bad news.

    740
    01:03:02,884 --> 01:03:06,063
    The bad news is, the
    whole team is dead.

    741
    01:03:06,142 --> 01:03:09,438
    The good news is, I don't think
    anyone's gonna miss Shatterstar.

    742
    01:03:09,463 --> 01:03:13,283
    - He was a bit of a prick. But Paul!
    - Peter.

    743
    01:03:13,314 --> 01:03:15,386
    Peter. We'll miss him most.

    744
    01:03:15,411 --> 01:03:18,442
    But there is a slight chance
    Vanisher could make it.

    745
    01:03:18,716 --> 01:03:21,739
    - Nope. No chance. He's dead.
    - The whole team?

    746
    01:03:21,764 --> 01:03:25,186
    - Only the main ones, we're still good.
    - Fuck, you are dumb.

    747
    01:03:25,211 --> 01:03:29,984
    Even after all this time, I still can't talk about
    it. Who knew these winds would be so strong?

    748
    01:03:30,009 --> 01:03:34,384
    Everyone. Everyone on the helicopter.
    Everyone not on the helicopter.

    749
    01:03:42,318 --> 01:03:45,719
    They're headed into the tunnel.

    750
    01:03:45,888 --> 01:03:49,919
    I'm that kid's only hope. So sit
    tight and wait for my word.

    751
    01:03:50,239 --> 01:03:57,145
    - Whatever. We're gonna lose them. I'm dropping in.
    - That's a negative, sole survivor. Luck isn't a superpower.

    752
    01:03:57,170 --> 01:04:01,209
    - We are so fucked.
    - No. We are certainly not fucked.

    753
    01:04:04,076 --> 01:04:06,903
    Seriously, I don't get it.

    754
    01:04:06,928 --> 01:04:09,763
    What, you shoot luck
    lasers out of your eyes?

    755
    01:04:11,392 --> 01:04:15,931
    It's just hard to picture. It's
    certainly not very cinematic.

    756
    01:04:18,274 --> 01:04:20,931
    I mean, luck? What coked out,

    757
    01:04:20,956 --> 01:04:23,330
    - Fuck!
    - glass-pipe sucking, freakshow

    758
    01:04:23,355 --> 01:04:25,707
    comic book artist came up
    with that little chest turd?

    759
    01:04:25,732 --> 01:04:29,011
    Probably a guy who
    can't draw feet!

    760
    01:04:39,060 --> 01:04:41,774
    Once again, it all
    falls on my shoulders.

    761
    01:04:41,799 --> 01:04:44,290
    It's why I'm cursed
    to be a solo act.

    762
    01:04:44,315 --> 01:04:46,440
    - I'm in.
    - I'm sorry. What did you say?

    763
    01:04:46,465 --> 01:04:49,769
    - I'm in.
    - How in the fuck are you in already?

    764
    01:04:49,794 --> 01:04:54,645
    - Oh, shit. Cable, 12 o'clock!
    - Shit! New plan.

    765
    01:04:54,670 --> 01:04:58,740
    Use all of your imaginary powers to
    stop Cable from killing that kid.

    766
    01:04:58,765 --> 01:05:01,225
    I'm coming up on your six.

    767
    01:05:09,694 --> 01:05:12,342
    That is amazing!

    768
    01:05:21,718 --> 01:05:25,874
    - Where is he? I can't see him.
    - He's on top of you!

    769
    01:05:27,451 --> 01:05:31,036
    He's going in through the back!
    Oh, God, he's inside!

    770
    01:05:31,061 --> 01:05:33,983
    - You hear yourself, right?
    - Accidental double entendres!

    771
    01:05:33,999 --> 01:05:38,741
    - Russell. Russell Collins!
    - Hands off that kid, John Connor!

    772
    01:05:43,001 --> 01:05:45,094
    No, no, no, no!

    773
    01:05:48,296 --> 01:05:49,789
    Shit!

    774
    01:06:11,491 --> 01:06:14,016
    Two can play that game.

    775
    01:06:15,454 --> 01:06:17,633
    Got it! No, I don't.

    776
    01:06:17,658 --> 01:06:20,798
    - Showtime, momma!
    - Lady luck, take the wheel.

    777
    01:06:58,684 --> 01:07:03,379
    - I'd ask who you are but you'll be dead in seconds.
    - I'm Domino. And doubtful.

    778
    01:07:19,451 --> 01:07:24,103
    Hang in there, Dom!
    This is really hard.

    779
    01:07:35,182 --> 01:07:37,986
    You give me back
    my ski-ball token.

    780
    01:07:40,330 --> 01:07:42,994
    - You're doing great.
    - X-Force!

    781
    01:07:44,109 --> 01:07:46,562
    I guess dubstep never dies.

    782
    01:07:58,282 --> 01:08:02,141
    You killed Black Tom, you
    racist son of a bitch!

    783
    01:08:03,915 --> 01:08:06,221
    That's unfortunate.

    784
    01:08:08,204 --> 01:08:11,532
    - We got no brakes.
    - Figure it out.

    785
    01:08:15,149 --> 01:08:17,516
    There's nothing I can't kill.

    786
    01:08:20,437 --> 01:08:23,772
    Somebody knows... karate.

    787
    01:08:26,104 --> 01:08:29,088
    Give me your best
    shot, one-eyed Willy.

    788
    01:08:42,815 --> 01:08:44,322
    Oww.

    789
    01:08:44,925 --> 01:08:46,784
    Here we go.

    790
    01:08:46,809 --> 01:08:50,918
    - Domino, mind slowing us down?
    - Here goes nothing.

    791
    01:09:22,353 --> 01:09:24,993
    Knock, knock.

    792
    01:09:31,317 --> 01:09:33,887
    That's my boy.

    793
    01:09:38,198 --> 01:09:41,065
    Holy... !

    794
    01:09:49,895 --> 01:09:54,309
    I'll be first to admit. This
    did not go according to plan.

    795
    01:09:55,340 --> 01:09:58,777
    I'll also be the first to admit that
    that plan was written in crayon.

    796
    01:09:58,802 --> 01:10:01,669
    Looks like Russell
    found a new friend.

    797
    01:10:02,051 --> 01:10:06,550
    Turns out Domino's a bit of a badass.
    And maybe, possibly mildly lucky.

    798
    01:10:06,602 --> 01:10:10,047
    But Cable? Yeesh. That
    guy's in the mood.

    799
    01:10:10,336 --> 01:10:13,914
    A mood that is about to
    get significantly worse.

    800
    01:10:36,469 --> 01:10:39,267
    There's something that's
    terribly, terribly wrong.

    801
    01:10:45,191 --> 01:10:47,097
    Oh, God. That hurt.

    802
    01:10:56,012 --> 01:11:00,673
    Russell? Russell, where are you?

    803
    01:11:03,207 --> 01:11:04,401
    Russell.

    804
    01:11:04,426 --> 01:11:09,105
    Russell, you're okay. Oh,
    thank Go--- oh, my God!

    805
    01:11:09,130 --> 01:11:10,856
    Juggernaut!

    806
    01:11:11,836 --> 01:11:15,671
    I thought that was you. I
    shoulda worn my white pants.

    807
    01:11:16,506 --> 01:11:20,240
    You probably get this a
    lot, but I am a huge fan.

    808
    01:11:20,475 --> 01:11:24,029
    Uncanny X-Men, 103, 4411,

    809
    01:11:24,091 --> 01:11:26,554
    X-Men Unlimited 12,
    you know it's always

    810
    01:11:26,579 --> 01:11:31,560
    been a dream of mine to see my face reflected in your
    helmet as you charge at me with murderous intent.

    811
    01:11:31,585 --> 01:11:33,204
    I don't mean right now.

    812
    01:11:33,240 --> 01:11:38,501
    - I'm gonna rip you in half now.
    - That's such a Juggernaut thing to say.

    813
    01:11:41,413 --> 01:11:43,286
    Oh, my God!

    814
    01:11:43,311 --> 01:11:46,053
    Oh, God, I can't feel my legs.

    815
    01:11:47,904 --> 01:11:51,067
    Oh, well. They're right here.
    Got them.

    816
    01:11:51,092 --> 01:11:51,873
    Russell.

    817
    01:11:51,898 --> 01:11:54,083
    I have a mission.

    818
    01:11:54,108 --> 01:11:56,045
    To get my revenge.

    819
    01:11:56,070 --> 01:12:00,241
    - I'm going to burn that Headmaster alive.
    - You're not the revenge type.

    820
    01:12:00,374 --> 01:12:03,506
    - Take it from a friend.
    - Friend?

    821
    01:12:03,561 --> 01:12:07,834
    You were sick and I protected you.
    You said it yourself.

    822
    01:12:07,873 --> 01:12:10,035
    I'm not your friend.

    823
    01:12:10,060 --> 01:12:12,903
    Find someone stronger, so I did.

    824
    01:12:13,770 --> 01:12:19,605
    Russell, I couldn't protect you back then, but
    I can now. What do you want me to say, huh?

    825
    01:12:19,980 --> 01:12:24,230
    I care about you? 'Cause goddammit,
    I care about you, Russell.

    826
    01:12:24,484 --> 01:12:28,171
    What's Juggernaut got that I don't have?
    Don't you say "legs"!

    827
    01:12:28,312 --> 01:12:31,444
    - I know you're gonna say "legs"!
    - Legs!

    828
    01:12:31,469 --> 01:12:33,746
    Still hurts to hear out loud.

    829
    01:12:35,173 --> 01:12:38,446
    What is that? What is tha---
    That's not a real rope.

    830
    01:12:38,501 --> 01:12:40,883
    You get back here, young man!

    831
    01:12:41,189 --> 01:12:42,727
    Doms...

    832
    01:12:42,805 --> 01:12:45,186
    Doms, get me out of here please.

    833
    01:12:45,211 --> 01:12:48,337
    Use my arms as backpack straps.

    834
    01:12:50,496 --> 01:12:53,558
    Think we may have found your
    cosmic reason for being here.

    835
    01:12:53,726 --> 01:12:57,265
    - Pretty sure this isn't it.
    - X-Force.

    836
    01:13:10,216 --> 01:13:12,395
    No child is hopeless.

    837
    01:13:12,420 --> 01:13:13,966
    - Don't give up on the boy.
    - How could he just

    838
    01:13:13,991 --> 01:13:17,809
    walk away? There was
    coldness in his eyes.

    839
    01:13:18,403 --> 01:13:20,526
    You should have heard it.

    840
    01:13:22,192 --> 01:13:24,903
    I guess family
    really is an F-word.

    841
    01:13:25,243 --> 01:13:27,563
    Rub my legs, mama?

    842
    01:13:27,649 --> 01:13:29,109
    Mama not rub your legs.

    843
    01:13:29,134 --> 01:13:32,641
    Please. It hurt. I
    have growing pains.

    844
    01:13:35,004 --> 01:13:36,528
    What in the?

    845
    01:13:36,715 --> 01:13:39,645
    Why is your hand so
    tiny, and your...

    846
    01:13:39,670 --> 01:13:43,810
    - That's not my hand.
    - Oh, Mary mother of Joseph!

    847
    01:13:43,888 --> 01:13:46,919
    - That was nice for me.
    - Wade!

    848
    01:13:46,958 --> 01:13:49,786
    Hey, I heard what happened
    with the convoy and... !

    849
    01:13:52,616 --> 01:13:55,233
    Why wouldn't you cover that up?

    850
    01:13:55,258 --> 01:13:57,641
    A warrior has nothing
    to be ashamed of.

    851
    01:13:57,666 --> 01:14:01,781
    Not if you do it. Look at you, you're
    just straight-shirt cocking it?

    852
    01:14:01,812 --> 01:14:05,177
    - Toddler-style?
    - Oh, yeah. Full Winnie The Pooh.

    853
    01:14:05,202 --> 01:14:08,662
    - What the hell's happening? Describe it.
    - I wouldn't ask him to do that if I were you.

    854
    01:14:08,671 --> 01:14:11,755
    - Here we go.
    - It's like he was giving birth anally

    855
    01:14:11,780 --> 01:14:14,109
    but they quit halfway through.
    They got the legs out

    856
    01:14:14,134 --> 01:14:16,127
    - and they said, "you know what? I'm done."
    - Happy?

    857
    01:14:16,152 --> 01:14:18,938
    It's like he's a muppet from
    the waist down but this time,

    858
    01:14:18,963 --> 01:14:22,103
    you can see the muppet's dick. God,
    he's got a cock the size of...

    859
    01:14:22,128 --> 01:14:25,799
    ... double-park. I got
    three written... What?

    860
    01:14:26,619 --> 01:14:29,275
    No. No. No. DP, not again.

    861
    01:14:29,361 --> 01:14:31,525
    This has happened before?

    862
    01:14:32,102 --> 01:14:34,697
    Jesus! Either vomit or don't.
    The decision is killing me.

    863
    01:14:34,722 --> 01:14:37,165
    Why couldn't God
    take my hearing.

    864
    01:14:39,698 --> 01:14:42,317
    - Wow.
    - Cool your pants. They're growing back.

    865
    01:14:42,342 --> 01:14:44,254
    I'm talking about your face.

    866
    01:14:44,279 --> 01:14:47,261
    I've never seen you without
    your mask before. Jesus Christ!

    867
    01:14:47,286 --> 01:14:50,464
    - Looks like an avocado.
    - Your legs, though. They're cute.

    868
    01:14:50,489 --> 01:14:52,770
    You wanna borrow
    a pair of pants?

    869
    01:14:53,931 --> 01:14:57,876
    I'm glad everybody dropped by. You must
    be wondering why I didn't call you here.

    870
    01:14:57,901 --> 01:15:01,736
    I'll tell you why I'm here.
    The time-traveler's wife's

    871
    01:15:01,761 --> 01:15:04,831
    husband beat me within an inch of my life.
    He was torturing me.

    872
    01:15:04,856 --> 01:15:07,811
    But all I told him was
    everything he wanted to know.

    873
    01:15:07,836 --> 01:15:10,755
    So, I'm here to help us gear up.

    874
    01:15:10,780 --> 01:15:13,146
    - So we can go after him without me.
    - No.

    875
    01:15:13,171 --> 01:15:16,710
    I'm doing this alone. The
    Juggernaut will kill you all.

    876
    01:15:16,757 --> 01:15:20,191
    - I'll just need a couple of hours to get some legs under me.
    - What will you do?

    877
    01:15:20,199 --> 01:15:23,159
    I don't care what the kid did to me.
    I won't let Cable get to him

    878
    01:15:23,184 --> 01:15:26,621
    - even if I have to teabag him to death.
    - It's really just a sip of tea at this point.

    879
    01:15:26,646 --> 01:15:30,334
    Zip it, Black-Black Widow. I'm flowing. The first
    order of business is to get me in front of Cable

    880
    01:15:30,341 --> 01:15:34,731
    so I can put all the fucking blood out of his
    body and fashion his bones into holiday jewelry.

    881
    01:15:34,809 --> 01:15:36,691
    Then, I'm gonna take his skin.

    882
    01:15:36,716 --> 01:15:40,121
    And stretch it out over
    our homemade mating drum.

    883
    01:15:41,055 --> 01:15:43,610
    He's standing right
    behind you, isn't he?

    884
    01:15:51,400 --> 01:15:53,493
    What in the ass.

    885
    01:15:53,518 --> 01:15:56,437
    Is this apartment listed on Tinder?
    Grindr?

    886
    01:15:56,462 --> 01:15:59,899
    You picked the wrong shithole
    to fuck, future boy.

    887
    01:16:00,165 --> 01:16:02,962
    Is that really necessary?

    888
    01:16:04,429 --> 01:16:07,521
    No. It's his Basic Instinct.

    889
    01:16:07,546 --> 01:16:09,364
    What can we help you with?

    890
    01:16:09,389 --> 01:16:11,974
    I'm here to proposition you.

    891
    01:16:13,545 --> 01:16:17,021
    - He's really teeing it up, is he?
    - He gets to make the first joke.

    892
    01:16:17,046 --> 01:16:19,451
    - I think we shot through him at the same time.
    - Good call.

    893
    01:16:19,476 --> 01:16:20,897
    For $45 you get sucky-suck...

    894
    01:16:20,922 --> 01:16:23,394
    - I only do over the pants. Mouths step...
    - Fuck!

    895
    01:16:23,419 --> 01:16:25,794
    The Proposition has a wonderful
    Guy Pearce performance.

    896
    01:16:25,819 --> 01:16:27,646
    Wait, wait, wait. I
    wanna do mine over.

    897
    01:16:27,671 --> 01:16:28,708
    Give us the line again?

    898
    01:16:28,733 --> 01:16:30,185
    I need your help!

    899
    01:16:30,344 --> 01:16:32,883
    Trust me, I'm even less happy
    about this than you are.

    900
    01:16:32,908 --> 01:16:35,814
    But you unleashed the
    Juggernaut, you dumb cunt!

    901
    01:16:35,870 --> 01:16:37,939
    I can't bring him down alone.

    902
    01:16:38,018 --> 01:16:40,275
    So here we are.

    903
    01:16:41,041 --> 01:16:44,562
    Well we're no longer accepting
    applications for X-Force, unfortunately.

    904
    01:16:44,587 --> 01:16:46,032
    Even if we were...

    905
    01:16:46,057 --> 01:16:47,641
    There's a wind
    advisory in effect...

    906
    01:16:47,665 --> 01:16:50,844
    We don't have a lot of time. Your
    friend's about to make his first kill.

    907
    01:16:50,869 --> 01:16:52,370
    No offense, but if
    you know so much,

    908
    01:16:52,395 --> 01:16:54,970
    why not travel back to when he
    was a baby and kill him then?

    909
    01:16:54,995 --> 01:16:59,541
    - Or better yet, head back a little further. Kill baby Hitler.
    - I use a device to slide through time.

    910
    01:16:59,566 --> 01:17:02,080
    The longer I travel, the
    harder it is to control.

    911
    01:17:02,105 --> 01:17:06,472
    I got two charges. One to get
    me here, one to get me home.

    912
    01:17:06,878 --> 01:17:12,118
    - That's just lazy writing.
    - Your boy's gonna kill the Headmaster in the orphanage tonight.

    913
    01:17:12,143 --> 01:17:17,158
    - After that, he gets a real taste for it.
    - Like 10-year old Kirsten Dunst, motherfucker.

    914
    01:17:17,228 --> 01:17:20,363
    So he keeps killing.
    And killing.

    915
    01:17:20,926 --> 01:17:22,368
    And killing.

    916
    01:17:22,393 --> 01:17:26,228
    Until one day he kills the
    wrong fucking people.

    917
    01:17:27,855 --> 01:17:29,409
    My people.

    918
    01:17:32,874 --> 01:17:34,443
    Relax.

    919
    01:17:34,468 --> 01:17:37,186
    I'm retrieving something
    from my utility bag.

    920
    01:17:37,211 --> 01:17:41,898
    It's a goddamn fanny pack and you
    know it, you sick son of a bitch.

    921
    01:17:41,923 --> 01:17:44,344
    The difference is night and day.

    922
    01:17:45,739 --> 01:17:47,938
    You remind me of my wife.

    923
    01:17:48,481 --> 01:17:50,833
    - I'm sorry?
    - I said, you remind me of my...

    924
    01:17:50,858 --> 01:17:55,014
    No, I'm sorry that you said that. While making
    heavy eye contact and applying lip balm.

    925
    01:17:55,022 --> 01:17:56,959
    She always joked.

    926
    01:17:57,100 --> 01:17:58,823
    And she was funny.

    927
    01:17:58,848 --> 01:18:01,816
    She filtered her pain.
    Replaced it with humor.

    928
    01:18:01,934 --> 01:18:04,707
    Something I could never master.

    929
    01:18:04,732 --> 01:18:07,560
    It was my fault she died.

    930
    01:18:08,755 --> 01:18:12,218
    It was my job to stop
    people like him.

    931
    01:18:12,544 --> 01:18:16,478
    I came close, a few times.

    932
    01:18:18,531 --> 01:18:21,445
    I wasn't too happy about that.

    933
    01:18:22,046 --> 01:18:26,069
    But he was trying to hurt me and
    he knew exactly how to do it.

    934
    01:18:29,642 --> 01:18:33,524
    Blessed are the wicked who
    are healed by my hand.

    935
    01:18:35,934 --> 01:18:38,269
    He came into my home...

    936
    01:18:38,294 --> 01:18:41,426
    And took the only thing
    that made it a home.

    937
    01:18:45,396 --> 01:18:49,122
    - Sound familiar?
    - I'm sorry.

    938
    01:18:49,717 --> 01:18:51,756
    No. I'm really sorry.

    939
    01:18:53,234 --> 01:18:55,327
    But that isn't Russell.

    940
    01:18:55,585 --> 01:18:57,663
    - It doesn't have to be him.
    - If you knew what I knew...

    941
    01:18:57,688 --> 01:19:02,617
    Yeah. He's got anger issues. Maybe a small
    learning disability. A splash of diabetes.

    942
    01:19:02,649 --> 01:19:05,703
    - But nothing that can't be fixed...
    - If you can go back...

    943
    01:19:05,733 --> 01:19:08,418
    And stop the people that
    took your girl, would you?

    944
    01:19:08,443 --> 01:19:10,612
    Of course, I fucking would.

    945
    01:19:10,762 --> 01:19:14,057
    - But I wouldn't kill a kid.
    - I'm not asking you to kill the kid.

    946
    01:19:14,082 --> 01:19:15,736
    I'll kill the kid.

    947
    01:19:15,761 --> 01:19:19,243
    I'm asking you to save
    hundreds of other kids.

    948
    01:19:19,268 --> 01:19:21,799
    Russell's gonna burn
    down that orphanage.

    949
    01:19:21,824 --> 01:19:26,628
    And I can imagine your dead girlfriend would've
    wanted you to do the right thing, wouldn't she?

    950
    01:19:26,968 --> 01:19:30,320
    So what's it gonna be, handsome?

    951
    01:19:30,345 --> 01:19:32,634
    - Give me a chance to save him.
    - What?

    952
    01:19:32,659 --> 01:19:35,330
    You said it. Once he kills
    someone, he gets a taste for it.

    953
    01:19:35,355 --> 01:19:39,400
    If we can get to him before that happens,
    promise you'll give me a chance,

    954
    01:19:39,425 --> 01:19:42,417
    - to put him on a different path.
    - Define "chance".

    955
    01:19:42,442 --> 01:19:44,760
    I don't know. How long does it
    take to save someone's soul?

    956
    01:19:44,785 --> 01:19:47,611
    - I give you 30 seconds.
    - That--- what? No.

    957
    01:19:47,636 --> 01:19:49,937
    Best I can do. Take
    it or leave it.

    958
    01:20:00,319 --> 01:20:02,865
    He's doing it. Look
    at the little fella.

    959
    01:20:02,890 --> 01:20:05,374
    He's doing it. Here it comes.

    960
    01:20:05,429 --> 01:20:06,936
    Jesus Christ.

    961
    01:20:06,961 --> 01:20:09,491
    Just shirt cockin'.

    962
    01:20:10,265 --> 01:20:14,324
    Here you go, little fella.
    Go on, you're doing it.

    963
    01:20:14,349 --> 01:20:17,770
    You beautiful, hairless,
    twizzler-legged baby boy.

    964
    01:20:19,678 --> 01:20:20,614
    Christ.

    965
    01:20:20,639 --> 01:20:22,123
    That's disturbing.

    966
    01:20:22,148 --> 01:20:24,405
    Thirty seconds.

    967
    01:20:28,893 --> 01:20:31,494
    - Deal.
    - Deal.

    968
    01:20:33,154 --> 01:20:37,560
    - I have no idea what's happening.
    - Probably for the best.

    969
    01:20:38,959 --> 01:20:42,209
    And that, is why you never
    eat a raw starfish.

    970
    01:20:42,234 --> 01:20:43,782
    It's just common sense.

    971
    01:20:44,798 --> 01:20:46,360
    Where the hell are we going?

    972
    01:20:46,385 --> 01:20:49,509
    You said it yourself. Nothing
    can stop the Juggernaut.

    973
    01:20:49,534 --> 01:20:53,220
    - We need backup.
    - I will bathe in the blood of your enemies.

    974
    01:20:57,469 --> 01:20:59,809
    Can you turn off the music?

    975
    01:21:00,100 --> 01:21:02,483
    You will do no such thing.

    976
    01:21:02,617 --> 01:21:04,804
    Why don't you just say
    it in an Indian accent?

    977
    01:21:04,877 --> 01:21:07,907
    - What the hell are you...
    - Once again, intolerance rears its ugly head.

    978
    01:21:07,932 --> 01:21:09,651
    I'm so sorry. It gets better.

    979
    01:21:09,676 --> 01:21:11,605
    I'm not a fucking
    racist, you moron.

    980
    01:21:11,630 --> 01:21:14,301
    Tell it to Black Tom. He
    was like a brother to me.

    981
    01:21:14,372 --> 01:21:17,754
    I'm with the old white guy on this one.
    Not such a waste.

    982
    01:21:17,864 --> 01:21:20,699
    So what exactly do you do
    in this future anyway, huh?

    983
    01:21:20,724 --> 01:21:21,819
    Some kind of soldier?

    984
    01:21:21,844 --> 01:21:23,712
    Yeah. Something like that.

    985
    01:21:23,737 --> 01:21:25,908
    I was a soldier. Special Forces.

    986
    01:21:25,933 --> 01:21:30,702
    - I bet 50 years from now, we're bestest buddies.
    - 50 years from now, you're very dead.

    987
    01:21:30,727 --> 01:21:33,573
    Your entire generation fucked
    this planet into a coma.

    988
    01:21:33,612 --> 01:21:34,569
    Boom!

    989
    01:21:34,594 --> 01:21:35,827
    Spoiler alert!

    990
    01:21:37,461 --> 01:21:38,858
    Planets.

    991
    01:21:38,883 --> 01:21:40,476
    Next time, Uber.

    992
    01:21:40,501 --> 01:21:42,444
    Here's a spoiler alert:

    993
    01:21:42,469 --> 01:21:44,890
    You're not a fucking hero.

    994
    01:21:44,970 --> 01:21:48,540
    You're just an annoying clown
    dressed up as a sex toy.

    995
    01:21:48,747 --> 01:21:51,442
    Well I got news for you. My
    heart's in the right place.

    996
    01:21:51,467 --> 01:21:53,084
    Russell's not gonna kill anyone.

    997
    01:21:53,108 --> 01:21:55,584
    Because of me, he's gonna know
    what real love looks like.

    998
    01:21:55,617 --> 01:21:59,163
    Because of you, I'll always know what a
    grown man with baby balls looks like.

    999
    01:21:59,187 --> 01:22:01,663
    I'm a grower. Not a shower.

    1000
    01:22:01,688 --> 01:22:04,273
    - I should've finished college.
    - Right here!

    1001
    01:22:21,962 --> 01:22:24,294
    I've made mistakes.

    1002
    01:22:24,319 --> 01:22:27,601
    I wanna take it back.
    You trusted me,

    1003
    01:22:27,626 --> 01:22:32,155
    I took that trust and turned it into
    a glory hole in an airport bathroom.

    1004
    01:22:32,180 --> 01:22:33,944
    The one in Minneapolis.

    1005
    01:22:33,969 --> 01:22:35,651
    You know the one.

    1006
    01:22:35,676 --> 01:22:37,142
    Colossus?

    1007
    01:22:37,167 --> 01:22:39,518
    I wouldn't ask for your help
    unless it was life or death.

    1008
    01:22:39,543 --> 01:22:41,627
    That kid needs our help.

    1009
    01:22:41,652 --> 01:22:45,097
    I know you're listening. He's
    teamed up with the Juggernaut.

    1010
    01:22:45,122 --> 01:22:48,232
    The Juggernaut! That's like my
    favorite Marvel character ever

    1011
    01:22:48,257 --> 01:22:52,225
    but you should never meet your heroes.
    Because honestly, he's a bit of a dick.

    1012
    01:22:52,342 --> 01:22:54,795
    And like a lot of dicks,
    he's as hard as a rock

    1013
    01:22:54,820 --> 01:22:56,802
    and causes nothing but problems!

    1014
    01:22:56,827 --> 01:22:58,695
    - Hi, Wade!
    - Hi, Yukio.

    1015
    01:22:58,718 --> 01:23:01,107
    You guys make a super cute couple.
    Yeah.

    1016
    01:23:01,132 --> 01:23:04,083
    Where was I? Oh, yeah.
    Colossus, look...

    1017
    01:23:04,108 --> 01:23:06,827
    I don't deserve your
    friendship, or your help.

    1018
    01:23:06,852 --> 01:23:08,560
    But this kid does.

    1019
    01:23:08,585 --> 01:23:11,553
    And I'm not gonna bail on
    him like everyone else.

    1020
    01:23:13,132 --> 01:23:15,366
    Oh, come on.

    1021
    01:23:19,362 --> 01:23:23,908
    Any chance Pigeon-wings is available?
    That's just fine.

    1022
    01:23:23,932 --> 01:23:26,439
    That's fine. No, you know what?

    1023
    01:23:26,464 --> 01:23:30,238
    Doing the right thing is
    sometimes messy and fucked up,

    1024
    01:23:30,263 --> 01:23:32,792
    and not particularly convenient.

    1025
    01:23:32,857 --> 01:23:35,848
    So stay here, in
    Chateau des Virgin,

    1026
    01:23:35,873 --> 01:23:38,849
    while we go get our fuck on.

    1027
    01:23:41,303 --> 01:23:43,380
    You're doing great.

    1028
    01:23:48,117 --> 01:23:51,468
    So you wear that helmet because your
    brother tries to read your mind?

    1029
    01:23:51,493 --> 01:23:54,821
    Yeah, but he's in a
    wheelchair, so even steven.

    1030
    01:23:54,852 --> 01:23:57,443
    Someone's coming.
    It's Russell, sir.

    1031
    01:23:57,468 --> 01:23:59,678
    And he's not alone.

    1032
    01:23:59,710 --> 01:24:02,171
    Secure the children.

    1033
    01:24:05,469 --> 01:24:08,406
    What do you say we go
    fuck some shit up?

    1034
    01:24:08,431 --> 01:24:10,054
    "Let's fuck some shit up",

    1035
    01:24:10,079 --> 01:24:12,375
    is my legal middle name.

    1036
    01:24:15,476 --> 01:24:18,413
    Watch my back. I
    got the old man.

    1037
    01:24:18,476 --> 01:24:20,395
    Amen, brother.

    1038
    01:24:26,007 --> 01:24:27,874
    Time to get the chimichangas.

    1039
    01:24:27,929 --> 01:24:29,483
    Thirty seconds.

    1040
    01:24:30,169 --> 01:24:32,700
    I finally know why I'm here.

    1041
    01:24:32,841 --> 01:24:34,841
    I was raised in this place.

    1042
    01:24:34,882 --> 01:24:37,145
    But... not raised.
    I was tortured.

    1043
    01:24:37,178 --> 01:24:40,531
    Wow. It's your cosmic reason
    for being here. Shall we?

    1044
    01:24:40,556 --> 01:24:42,592
    This is gonna be fun!

    1045
    01:24:42,617 --> 01:24:45,249
    Hey. Been meaning to ask
    you, what's with the,

    1046
    01:24:45,273 --> 01:24:47,780
    creepy, dirty hobo-bear?

    1047
    01:24:47,851 --> 01:24:51,546
    That's not dirt. That's the
    blood of my dead daughter.

    1048
    01:24:53,601 --> 01:24:55,538
    I get gluten sensitivity.

    1049
    01:24:55,570 --> 01:24:59,335
    One glass of wine would just....
    Yeah.

    1050
    01:25:02,844 --> 01:25:05,868
    Wish we could head back in
    time and take all that back.

    1051
    01:25:05,899 --> 01:25:07,859
    We should just cue the music.

    1052
    01:25:32,401 --> 01:25:34,290
    Welcome home, Russell.

    1053
    01:25:34,315 --> 01:25:36,182
    We missed you.

    1054
    01:25:36,456 --> 01:25:38,831
    Russell! You don't need to do this.

    1055
    01:25:38,898 --> 01:25:40,437
    Let's talk.

    1056
    01:25:40,831 --> 01:25:43,401
    Why are you dressed
    like the Unabomber?

    1057
    01:25:46,315 --> 01:25:48,736
    - That's why.
    - This little fucker's too far gone.

    1058
    01:25:48,762 --> 01:25:51,730
    Zip it, Thanos. We have a deal.
    You...

    1059
    01:25:52,039 --> 01:25:53,028
    Hey!

    1060
    01:25:53,053 --> 01:25:57,396
    I'm gonna shove that cab
    driver right up your ass.

    1061
    01:25:57,560 --> 01:25:59,935
    My modelling hands are so soft.

    1062
    01:25:59,966 --> 01:26:02,755
    - You should probably head back to the car.
    - I think I'll head back to the car.

    1063
    01:26:03,997 --> 01:26:07,122
    It works best when you
    pull the trigger.

    1064
    01:26:09,754 --> 01:26:12,097
    Your gun's amazing.

    1065
    01:26:12,309 --> 01:26:13,833
    Say it!

    1066
    01:26:15,684 --> 01:26:19,160
    You are an abomination!

    1067
    01:26:26,081 --> 01:26:29,338
    Now I'm gonna shove the
    red guy up the old guy.

    1068
    01:26:29,363 --> 01:26:32,020
    I believe him. Every
    man for themselves!

    1069
    01:26:36,293 --> 01:26:37,925
    Gotcha!

    1070
    01:26:42,035 --> 01:26:45,152
    You okay, big guy? The
    sun's getting real low.

    1071
    01:26:45,176 --> 01:26:47,285
    Ah, shit-fucker.

    1072
    01:27:00,436 --> 01:27:02,326
    Come on, beautiful.

    1073
    01:27:03,958 --> 01:27:05,474
    Say it!

    1074
    01:28:03,965 --> 01:28:05,621
    You came for me.

    1075
    01:28:05,629 --> 01:28:09,309
    I'm not giving up on you and
    you're not giving up on that boy.

    1076
    01:28:09,334 --> 01:28:11,326
    Who says that rules aren't
    meant to be broken?

    1077
    01:28:11,350 --> 01:28:13,810
    It's time to fight dirty.

    1078
    01:28:13,826 --> 01:28:16,076
    - Time to see the light, Johnny.
    - Hey!

    1079
    01:28:16,100 --> 01:28:20,091
    - Pick on someone your own size.
    - That's such a you thing to say.

    1080
    01:28:20,115 --> 01:28:22,146
    Go get 'em, tiger!

    1081
    01:28:22,182 --> 01:28:25,127
    Big CGI fight coming up.

    1082
    01:28:47,084 --> 01:28:49,732
    - He's doing great.
    - Say it!

    1083
    01:28:53,690 --> 01:28:56,166
    - Russell.
    - Bingo!

    1084
    01:29:10,820 --> 01:29:11,882
    Great.

    1085
    01:29:11,907 --> 01:29:14,882
    Bunch of armed pedophiles
    in nursing shoes.

    1086
    01:29:14,906 --> 01:29:18,038
    - Can I have one of those guns?
    - No.

    1087
    01:29:18,078 --> 01:29:19,757
    That's fine.

    1088
    01:29:20,499 --> 01:29:24,045
    Just gonna use this brick.
    Maximum effort.

    1089
    01:29:29,710 --> 01:29:32,647
    Who says you can't
    go home again?

    1090
    01:29:51,998 --> 01:29:53,623
    Say it.

    1091
    01:29:53,647 --> 01:29:56,982
    Say what you say everytime
    you torture me.

    1092
    01:29:57,060 --> 01:29:58,060
    Say it!

    1093
    01:29:58,108 --> 01:30:02,052
    Blessed are the wicked who are healed!
    By my hand!

    1094
    01:30:02,506 --> 01:30:08,052
    Blessed are the wicked, who
    are healed by my hand.

    1095
    01:30:26,026 --> 01:30:28,401
    Carny motherfucker!

    1096
    01:30:54,414 --> 01:30:57,148
    Oh my God. Did you
    feel that, too?

    1097
    01:30:57,173 --> 01:31:00,351
    Only best buddies execute
    pedophiles together.

    1098
    01:31:02,280 --> 01:31:06,303
    - You got 30 seconds, you butt-plug.
    - Now you're getting it!

    1099
    01:31:10,268 --> 01:31:13,143
    I need a bus to get
    you all out of here.

    1100
    01:31:18,088 --> 01:31:20,048
    Orphans...

    1101
    01:31:20,080 --> 01:31:21,955
    Oh, geez.

    1102
    01:31:22,955 --> 01:31:24,736
    It's time...

    1103
    01:31:24,775 --> 01:31:28,939
    - To burn for what you've done!
    - A child should not be burdened with such power.

    1104
    01:31:36,946 --> 01:31:39,024
    Russell! Wait!

    1105
    01:31:52,584 --> 01:31:55,630
    - Wait! He hasn't killed anyone yet.
    - What more do you need to see?

    1106
    01:31:55,662 --> 01:31:58,019
    Don't you fucking dare!
    He's just a kid.

    1107
    01:31:58,044 --> 01:32:00,403
    Tick-tock. He is one.

    1108
    01:32:12,518 --> 01:32:15,931
    I'm gonna melt you down
    and make a cock ring.

    1109
    01:32:35,849 --> 01:32:38,958
    - I told you! Leave me alone!
    - Come on.

    1110
    01:32:38,989 --> 01:32:41,309
    Listen to me.

    1111
    01:33:03,983 --> 01:33:07,109
    That's how we do it
    in Mother Russia.

    1112
    01:33:08,370 --> 01:33:11,674
    They say millenials are
    the hardest to reach.

    1113
    01:33:17,001 --> 01:33:19,985
    Damn, it feels good
    to be a gangstah.

    1114
    01:33:20,165 --> 01:33:23,993
    Go home, Wade. You're
    ruining everything.

    1115
    01:33:29,190 --> 01:33:32,174
    - I'm getting good at this shit.
    - Go, go, go, go, go!

    1116
    01:33:35,178 --> 01:33:39,318
    He dies tonight, Wade.
    You can't stop me.

    1117
    01:33:39,639 --> 01:33:41,698
    He even runs like a
    fucking pervert.

    1118
    01:33:41,723 --> 01:33:44,653
    Like an online predator
    who lost his laptop.

    1119
    01:33:45,281 --> 01:33:47,609
    I have one bullet
    left in that gun.

    1120
    01:33:47,634 --> 01:33:50,391
    Wait, wait, wait. Please just
    give me a second. I got this.

    1121
    01:33:51,040 --> 01:33:53,172
    Stay back! Go home, Wade.

    1122
    01:33:53,197 --> 01:33:55,530
    Let's talk! There's
    nothing going his way.

    1123
    01:33:55,906 --> 01:33:57,554
    That piece of shit...

    1124
    01:33:57,579 --> 01:34:00,218
    He deserves to die for what he did to you.
    He hurt you.

    1125
    01:34:00,243 --> 01:34:01,149
    Badly.

    1126
    01:34:01,174 --> 01:34:03,561
    Makes you wanna hurt others.

    1127
    01:34:03,586 --> 01:34:05,398
    But if you kill him, he wins.

    1128
    01:34:05,423 --> 01:34:07,542
    You become everything
    he says you are,

    1129
    01:34:07,567 --> 01:34:09,081
    but worse.

    1130
    01:34:09,238 --> 01:34:10,848
    You're just a kid.

    1131
    01:34:11,051 --> 01:34:13,069
    You don't wanna hurt anyone.

    1132
    01:34:13,094 --> 01:34:16,566
    - How do you know what I want?
    - Because I've been inside you.

    1133
    01:34:16,625 --> 01:34:20,421
    That came out wrong. I've
    been inside your shoes.

    1134
    01:34:20,459 --> 01:34:23,795
    Which, is also off-putting.
    It's not a good analogy.

    1135
    01:34:23,819 --> 01:34:25,733
    The point is...

    1136
    01:34:25,780 --> 01:34:27,537
    There are people.

    1137
    01:34:27,561 --> 01:34:31,819
    There are people in this
    fucking world besides him,

    1138
    01:34:31,844 --> 01:34:36,211
    who will treat you right. It
    isn't too late. Don't do it.

    1139
    01:34:40,967 --> 01:34:43,615
    I never should've left you there.

    1140
    01:34:45,616 --> 01:34:48,155
    I never should have
    left you there.

    1141
    01:34:54,640 --> 01:34:57,030
    I can't trust you.

    1142
    01:34:57,454 --> 01:35:00,383
    I can't trust anybody!

    1143
    01:35:08,944 --> 01:35:12,562
    - Wonderful, kid.
    - You can't stop me, Wade!

    1144
    01:35:14,319 --> 01:35:16,334
    I got one more idea.

    1145
    01:35:16,913 --> 01:35:20,490
    - It's just a really bad one, even for me.
    - Wade, what are you doing?

    1146
    01:35:20,514 --> 01:35:23,217
    Alright, this is for
    all the marbles, kid.

    1147
    01:35:23,241 --> 01:35:25,592
    You gonna trust someone tonight?

    1148
    01:35:25,631 --> 01:35:29,099
    - Blessed are the wicked...
    - Then it's gotta be me.

    1149
    01:35:30,094 --> 01:35:32,857
    Who are healed by my hand!

    1150
    01:36:38,214 --> 01:36:41,317
    Tell me, they got
    that in slow-motion.

    1151
    01:36:45,828 --> 01:36:48,219
    That's not good.

    1152
    01:36:49,109 --> 01:36:50,788
    No, sir.

    1153
    01:36:58,121 --> 01:37:02,535
    - You sacrificed yourself, for me?
    - Yeah.

    1154
    01:37:02,560 --> 01:37:05,060
    And it was the best
    thing I ever did.

    1155
    01:37:06,833 --> 01:37:08,964
    I told you I care about you.

    1156
    01:37:08,989 --> 01:37:11,692
    You're a good kid, Russell.

    1157
    01:37:12,518 --> 01:37:13,712
    Hey.

    1158
    01:37:14,813 --> 01:37:17,736
    The bear. It worked.

    1159
    01:37:24,457 --> 01:37:26,142
    Because of you.

    1160
    01:37:26,167 --> 01:37:29,167
    No, Wade. Because of you.

    1161
    01:37:29,252 --> 01:37:32,480
    Stop. Stop! Stop. Stop.

    1162
    01:37:32,505 --> 01:37:35,488
    Just... Just let it happen.

    1163
    01:37:35,513 --> 01:37:37,583
    Okay? I guess...

    1164
    01:37:37,608 --> 01:37:40,467
    I guess my heart was finally
    in the right place.

    1165
    01:37:40,646 --> 01:37:43,185
    That riddle is so fucked up.

    1166
    01:37:47,469 --> 01:37:49,101
    I'm sorry.

    1167
    01:37:49,118 --> 01:37:50,961
    - I'm so sorry.
    - Don't be.

    1168
    01:37:51,001 --> 01:37:53,563
    Don't be. I've been trying to
    make this happen for a while.

    1169
    01:37:53,587 --> 01:37:57,031
    Yeah. Please, just, don't leave. I
    don't wanna die without an audience.

    1170
    01:37:57,048 --> 01:37:59,548
    - We are not going anywhere.
    - Oh, God.

    1171
    01:37:59,572 --> 01:38:01,884
    The Academy is watching.

    1172
    01:38:03,838 --> 01:38:05,470
    Papa?

    1173
    01:38:07,455 --> 01:38:10,228
    Papa can you hear me?

    1174
    01:38:11,580 --> 01:38:14,814
    Papa can you find me?

    1175
    01:38:38,675 --> 01:38:41,292
    Before I go, sorry...

    1176
    01:38:41,317 --> 01:38:44,074
    I got a bit more in me.
    Domino...

    1177
    01:38:44,105 --> 01:38:48,682
    I want you, to have my
    Adventure Time watch.

    1178
    01:38:50,918 --> 01:38:54,300
    Sounds like that
    I'm the lucky one.

    1179
    01:38:54,939 --> 01:38:56,683
    Thank you.

    1180
    01:38:57,207 --> 01:39:00,292
    Hey, Sabrina the
    teenage witch...

    1181
    01:39:00,854 --> 01:39:03,541
    It has been a pleasure.

    1182
    01:39:04,520 --> 01:39:07,128
    - Hi, Yukio.
    - Hi, Wade!

    1183
    01:39:07,153 --> 01:39:12,379
    Yeah... And you! Chrome-bone.

    1184
    01:39:12,887 --> 01:39:18,097
    I haven't always been the best friend to
    you, but you've always been that to me.

    1185
    01:39:18,316 --> 01:39:20,503
    So thank you.

    1186
    01:39:21,616 --> 01:39:23,834
    Say 'fuck' for me.

    1187
    01:39:24,288 --> 01:39:28,835
    Just once. Come on. We'll do it together.
    It's no big deal. Here we go. 1, 2, 3...

    1188
    01:39:30,678 --> 01:39:33,653
    - Fuck.
    - Wow. Enjoy hell.

    1189
    01:39:33,678 --> 01:39:37,912
    Swamp-mouth. And you. Cable.

    1190
    01:39:39,349 --> 01:39:43,145
    You get back to your family.
    You tell them Wade says 'hi'.

    1191
    01:39:43,419 --> 01:39:47,153
    And promise me. Promise
    me one thing...

    1192
    01:39:47,472 --> 01:39:50,198
    That you'll start judging people
    not by the color of their skin

    1193
    01:39:50,223 --> 01:39:52,629
    but by the content
    of their character.

    1194
    01:39:52,940 --> 01:39:54,127
    Jesus.

    1195
    01:39:56,752 --> 01:39:57,994
    Hey.

    1196
    01:39:58,463 --> 01:40:01,330
    You're a superhero now, bubba.

    1197
    01:40:01,463 --> 01:40:02,838
    Look...

    1198
    01:40:02,893 --> 01:40:04,228
    Family,

    1199
    01:40:04,276 --> 01:40:07,534
    is not an F-word, all right?

    1200
    01:40:07,955 --> 01:40:10,142
    Just keep looking, okay?

    1201
    01:40:12,949 --> 01:40:16,159
    Guys? For a second there...

    1202
    01:40:16,577 --> 01:40:19,296
    We would've made a
    pretty good team.

    1203
    01:40:33,767 --> 01:40:35,813
    Oh, it's so hard to go!

    1204
    01:40:37,181 --> 01:40:40,235
    I just love being with
    all you guys so much.

    1205
    01:40:40,798 --> 01:40:42,657
    So, so much.

    1206
    01:40:44,089 --> 01:40:46,821
    Oh, I can feel it now.
    Here it comes. Yeah.

    1207
    01:40:46,963 --> 01:40:50,815
    Feel the soul,
    exiting the husk...

    1208
    01:40:53,766 --> 01:40:55,855
    Can you see it?

    1209
    01:40:56,361 --> 01:40:58,672
    Do you see that
    beautiful bright light?

    1210
    01:40:59,578 --> 01:41:01,752
    There it is.

    1211
    01:41:07,287 --> 01:41:10,193
    No, that's the sun. Don't
    stare directly into that.

    1212
    01:41:10,403 --> 01:41:12,543
    I'd just like a
    few final words...

    1213
    01:41:14,130 --> 01:41:15,895
    Woodpecker.

    1214
    01:41:16,106 --> 01:41:17,879
    Gingivitis.

    1215
    01:41:19,554 --> 01:41:21,600
    Codswallop.

    1216
    01:41:25,351 --> 01:41:28,155
    Do you wanna build a snowman?

    1217
    01:42:57,144 --> 01:42:59,956
    Sorry I'm late. There
    was a bunch of...

    1218
    01:43:00,027 --> 01:43:03,191
    Handicappable children
    stuck in a tree. No.

    1219
    01:43:04,109 --> 01:43:07,135
    - But I did have to help a kid.
    - Yeah.

    1220
    01:43:07,160 --> 01:43:09,261
    - He's got a terrible name.
    - Just awful.

    1221
    01:43:09,286 --> 01:43:11,536
    I tried to tell him.

    1222
    01:43:12,332 --> 01:43:14,246
    Is this heaven?

    1223
    01:43:14,530 --> 01:43:16,457
    It is now.

    1224
    01:43:19,319 --> 01:43:21,509
    I'm so sorry.

    1225
    01:43:22,021 --> 01:43:23,724
    It's okay.

    1226
    01:43:43,158 --> 01:43:45,892
    I missed you so much.

    1227
    01:43:50,820 --> 01:43:52,905
    What is it? What's wrong?

    1228
    01:43:53,805 --> 01:43:56,008
    It's not time.

    1229
    01:43:56,233 --> 01:43:58,389
    What do you mean, it's not time?

    1230
    01:43:58,444 --> 01:44:00,156
    I'm here. I made it.

    1231
    01:44:00,181 --> 01:44:02,725
    - You can't stay.
    - No, no, no. I'm staying.

    1232
    01:44:02,759 --> 01:44:04,773
    I'm not going
    anywhere without you.

    1233
    01:44:04,798 --> 01:44:06,133
    It's okay.

    1234
    01:44:06,158 --> 01:44:08,986
    There's a time for us.
    It's just not now.

    1235
    01:44:09,814 --> 01:44:12,689
    - They need you.
    - Who?

    1236
    01:44:14,267 --> 01:44:16,071
    Your F-word.

    1237
    01:44:16,984 --> 01:44:20,009
    - Why?
    - You'll find out.

    1238
    01:44:21,147 --> 01:44:23,647
    It's all right. I'll be here.

    1239
    01:44:23,981 --> 01:44:25,973
    I love you.

    1240
    01:44:27,700 --> 01:44:29,489
    I know.

    1241
    01:44:29,514 --> 01:44:32,904
    I love you, too. Now, go.

    1242
    01:44:33,271 --> 01:44:35,904
    Go on. Go, get out of here.

    1243
    01:44:36,873 --> 01:44:37,873
    Go.

    1244
    01:44:40,523 --> 01:44:42,083
    Hey.

    1245
    01:44:44,242 --> 01:44:47,094
    Kiss me like you miss me, Red.

    1246
    01:44:47,226 --> 01:44:48,867
    Well, come here.

    1247
    01:45:07,662 --> 01:45:09,240
    Don't fuck Elvis.

    1248
    01:45:09,265 --> 01:45:10,832
    Don't fuck Colossus.

    1249
    01:45:10,857 --> 01:45:12,116
    What?

    1250
    01:45:20,576 --> 01:45:22,185
    Time to make the chimichangas.

    1251
    01:45:22,201 --> 01:45:22,912
    Thirty seconds.

    1252
    01:45:22,936 --> 01:45:25,170
    Hey, been meaning to ask you.
    What's with the...

    1253
    01:45:25,195 --> 01:45:26,788
    Creepy, dirty hobo-bear?

    1254
    01:45:26,813 --> 01:45:28,906
    That's my daughter's Teddy bear.

    1255
    01:45:28,931 --> 01:45:32,462
    - Her name's Hope.
    - Oh.

    1256
    01:45:32,580 --> 01:45:36,486
    What are you doing?
    Somebody swiped right.

    1257
    01:45:48,709 --> 01:45:51,646
    Tell me they got
    that in slow-motion.

    1258
    01:45:54,306 --> 01:45:57,891
    - You sacrificed yourself for me?
    - Hey, what's here? I...

    1259
    01:46:00,215 --> 01:46:01,317
    Huh.

    1260
    01:46:02,121 --> 01:46:04,488
    Genuine high-grade lead.

    1261
    01:46:06,730 --> 01:46:09,675
    You time-sliding son of a bitch.

    1262
    01:46:09,700 --> 01:46:11,886
    You did this for me?

    1263
    01:46:12,739 --> 01:46:14,153
    Wait...

    1264
    01:46:14,246 --> 01:46:16,222
    You can't go back.

    1265
    01:46:16,261 --> 01:46:19,032
    You used the last of your fuel.
    What about your girl and wife?

    1266
    01:46:19,057 --> 01:46:20,978
    No, my family's safe.

    1267
    01:46:21,003 --> 01:46:23,760
    And I didn't do it for you.

    1268
    01:46:24,057 --> 01:46:26,634
    Now I'm gonna stick
    around for a while.

    1269
    01:46:26,659 --> 01:46:29,893
    Make sure the world doesn't
    shit itself into oblivion.

    1270
    01:46:30,582 --> 01:46:35,160
    - Aww. You did it for me.
    - No, I didn't.

    1271
    01:46:35,414 --> 01:46:36,821
    - You did.
    - I didn't.

    1272
    01:46:36,846 --> 01:46:38,744
    - Pretty sure you did.
    - No, I'm positive I didn't.

    1273
    01:46:38,769 --> 01:46:40,760
    Fine. Alright. Let's
    flip a coin, okay?

    1274
    01:46:40,785 --> 01:46:43,565
    Heads, did it for me,
    tails, you did it for me.

    1275
    01:46:43,590 --> 01:46:46,410
    I'm not even gonna look
    because you did it for me.

    1276
    01:46:46,494 --> 01:46:47,907
    - Say it again.
    - You did it for me.

    1277
    01:46:47,939 --> 01:46:49,532
    - Jesus.
    - We must get the collar off.

    1278
    01:46:49,557 --> 01:46:52,416
    Forget it. It's no use. These
    collars don't just come off.

    1279
    01:46:52,441 --> 01:46:55,885
    Wade... I have an idea.

    1280
    01:46:56,374 --> 01:46:58,514
    Oh, no, no, no, no. Let's
    not do that, please.

    1281
    01:46:58,530 --> 01:47:01,570
    I'd rather die of cancer.
    That's just... Oh, God.

    1282
    01:47:01,595 --> 01:47:04,321
    They do say, the pen is
    grosser than the sword.

    1283
    01:47:05,165 --> 01:47:07,586
    - We need the code.
    - Try, uhh...

    1284
    01:47:07,797 --> 01:47:10,078
    - Seven?
    - Settle down, Captain Lucky.

    1285
    01:47:10,102 --> 01:47:13,312
    It's not gonna be one number.
    God, that's lazy writing.

    1286
    01:47:13,601 --> 01:47:15,522
    Still got it.

    1287
    01:47:17,970 --> 01:47:20,673
    Put that back in
    your prison wallet.

    1288
    01:47:21,634 --> 01:47:25,485
    I don't know how to thank you,
    but I do know how to hug you.

    1289
    01:47:25,607 --> 01:47:27,834
    - No.
    - Yes. Here we go.

    1290
    01:47:27,880 --> 01:47:31,293
    Bring it in. Come on.
    Pelvis to pelvis.

    1291
    01:47:31,395 --> 01:47:35,441
    Let's go tip-to-tip. There we go.
    The kids call this "docking".

    1292
    01:47:36,779 --> 01:47:39,574
    - Is there a knife in my dick?
    - There's a knife in your dick. Yeah.

    1293
    01:47:39,599 --> 01:47:42,567
    Just get back up a little.
    Already did a full Yentl.

    1294
    01:47:42,592 --> 01:47:44,912
    Pretend like that
    never happened.

    1295
    01:47:45,021 --> 01:47:47,091
    Let's go home, Russell.

    1296
    01:47:50,556 --> 01:47:54,962
    All you dirty mutants are gonna
    rot in hell with the boy.

    1297
    01:47:54,987 --> 01:47:58,002
    Your souls are
    beyond redemption.

    1298
    01:47:58,027 --> 01:48:01,440
    - Let's see your soul, perv!
    - No! No, no more.

    1299
    01:48:01,467 --> 01:48:03,589
    We're better than that.
    We're better than him.

    1300
    01:48:03,614 --> 01:48:06,349
    No more senseless violence,
    no more bloodshed.

    1301
    01:48:06,404 --> 01:48:09,290
    - We'll let karma take care of him.
    - The day of reckoning,

    1302
    01:48:09,315 --> 01:48:11,130
    is here!

    1303
    01:48:20,321 --> 01:48:22,758
    I'm gonna miss him.
    He seemed great.

    1304
    01:48:22,867 --> 01:48:25,226
    Woo! There it is, motherfuckers!

    1305
    01:48:25,251 --> 01:48:26,847
    I think I'm a motherfucker.

    1306
    01:48:26,886 --> 01:48:30,392
    I can hear you counting the last
    30 seconds like a monkey, it was... !

    1307
    01:48:30,417 --> 01:48:31,963
    I want some more.

    1308
    01:48:31,988 --> 01:48:34,003
    I bet you do, Brown Panther.

    1309
    01:48:34,028 --> 01:48:37,088
    We should leave before
    Fuckernaut wakes up.

    1310
    01:48:37,113 --> 01:48:39,504
    Good call. You guys
    coming with us?

    1311
    01:48:39,572 --> 01:48:41,970
    No. We'll get the kids
    back to the mansion.

    1312
    01:48:42,009 --> 01:48:44,571
    - Besides, we're X-Men.
    - No.

    1313
    01:48:44,650 --> 01:48:47,454
    - You're X-People.
    - You're X-hausting.

    1314
    01:48:47,486 --> 01:48:50,134
    I see what you did there. Puns.

    1315
    01:48:50,158 --> 01:48:52,431
    - Bye, Wade!
    - Bye, Yukio.

    1316
    01:48:54,626 --> 01:48:57,079
    What do you get when you
    take 8 feet of chrome,

    1317
    01:48:57,104 --> 01:48:59,924
    one pinch of courage,
    a cup of good luck,

    1318
    01:48:59,949 --> 01:49:02,409
    a dab of racism, a
    splash of diabetes,

    1319
    01:49:02,433 --> 01:49:05,183
    and a wheelbarrow full
    of stage-four cancer?

    1320
    01:49:05,207 --> 01:49:07,902
    Answer: a family.

    1321
    01:49:07,980 --> 01:49:10,988
    See? I didn't lie on what
    kind of film this was.

    1322
    01:49:11,105 --> 01:49:12,738
    If there's anything
    you take away today,

    1323
    01:49:12,763 --> 01:49:15,566
    other than the need to google,
    "what the fuck is dubstep",

    1324
    01:49:15,591 --> 01:49:18,966
    it's that we all need
    to belong to someone.

    1325
    01:49:21,562 --> 01:49:25,019
    subbed by: iamdepressed

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